Who Watches the Watchers?

Mimiron, or really big mechagnome as I like to call him, is the creator... of things. He basically designed most of the ulduar defense systems and is the "father" of the gnome race. V-07-TR-0N is this ultimate creation, but after the anti-super hero laws passed in the 70's he retired his suit and turned to a cooperate life. He started the Pyramid company and with the help of Algalon he has eliminated our dependence on fossil fuels, he has also made millions from his toy line featuring the watchers. Mimiron is indeed the smartest gnome on Azeroth.

The fight is split into 4 phases, first another flame leviathan then a anti-personnel cannon, then the bowser flying head. The fourth phase he combines them together to make Voltron!--err V-07-TR-0N. During this phase you'll need to kill all the parts at the same time (within 10 secs of each other) this will prob be a bit more difficult on 10man since you'll only have 5 dps.

~Jack

Hey I remember you...

Thorim served the titans as guardian of Ulduar and the Terrace of the Makers, and protecting the pacts between the races of frost. After betraying the Pantheon, Thorim's brother Loken tricked him into betraying his frost giant allies by murdering his wife, Sif, and blaming it on the frost giant king. Thorim was enraged, striking out at his allies and then settling into a long stupor. He was later sent to the human world in the body of a medical student where he fought crime. After being noticed by the Avengers Thorim joined the team and had been a major member until the Scrull invasion.

This fight begins with a large worm that needs to be faced away from the group. After the adds are dead kill her which will get you into the second stage of the fight. Then the raid will need to split into two groups, one staying in the middle and fighting vrykul while avoiding the outside edges. The other will be running the gauntlet, fighting their way to him. Speed is a factor with the gauntlet because after 5 min Thorim will wipe the group. After the gauntlet group reaches the top he'll hop down where the MT needs to grab him, after he does his Unbalancing strike the OT needs to taunt the boss, and so on for the rest of the fight. You'll also need to watch for the orbs of energy cause it means he's about to to cover a third of the arena in lightning in relation to him and the pillar at a 60 degrees angle.

~Jack

Ladies First...

Freya the Lifewarden is one of the 5 watchers of Azeroth and guardian of life, at all costs. Like the red dragon flight (5 watchers, 5 dragon flights, cool huh?) she has been tasked with guarding life in all forms and ensuring its survival. She is a "Daughter of the Titians", so I guess if this was Greek mythology she'd be a demigod or a minor god.

Just like Sartharion, she has 3 adds that will buff her and depending on how many are left alive determines the difficulty of the fight. The fight is split into two phases, phase one being waves of adds and phase two being a tank and spank. The tricky part of the fight is making sure dps survive phase one so that they have enough dps to overpower the HoT she puts on herself in phase two.

~Jack

The Maiden of... Cats?..

Hey look it's the Maiden of Virt-- err Auriaya, a large women found in Ulduar. Ok sorry about that, I should really read my notes before hand. Auriaya is the *looks off camera* you're joking right? Well Auriaya is the "crazy cat lady" of Ulduar (every neighborhood has one) and judging by the cats, she's hella crazy.




The fight isn't too bad, like High King Maulgar in Gruul's Lair it is all about the pull. The pull is the most crucial element to the fight, and it is not uncommon for your group to spend longer learning how to pull than actually learning the fight. The two panther adds that follow Auriaya will pounce on the initial aggro target if they are out of melee range but within line of sight. The idea is to not have the two kitties pounce anyone, so the pull must be done while both tanks are out of LoS from her until she is within melee range. A good place for the tanks to stand at the beginning is in the small enclave with the urn to the side of the stairs.

~Jack

By request..

Sorry that there wasn't a post yesterday I had a truly exhausting doctors appointment (I hate stress tests) and didn't get a chance to post.

Anyway like the title of the post says I've put the ringtone and end credits song into MP3's for you guys to download. Not sure how to make the ringtone available so you can download it straight to your phone but I figured one of you could figure that out. Below are the links:

Edit: Actually I think I got it working for phones now for the WoW Insider show anyway.

click here

WoW Insider Ringtone

You've got a Fiend in Me

~Jack

Nobody Wants to be Your Friend...

The moment you've waited for is finally here. That's right "Nobody Like You Ep2" is up on youtube and ready for your viewing. We get to welcome two new members to the cast as well. Dot is another player in game while Louis is a loner who rejects society's norms... or maybe he's comic relief.

Anyway I hope you enjoy the video. It'll be up on warcraft movies whenever they sort through all the Ulduar movies and get to it. Here's the link :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIcJuLVKGzg

Also I'm addicted to Peggle. Checking into the Betty Ford clinic tomorrow.

~Jack

The Kologarnator

"Hey girly player! In your girly gear, with your girly weapons and your girly friends! I am Kologarn and I am going to pump *claps* you up!"

Yes hailing from the great state of California, Kologarn is the 6th boss in Ulduar and he has the muscles to prove it. He is assumed to be a titan himself but I think he's more of the first prototype of the giants. I say this because I think Algalon is the closest thing to a true titan we've seen.

As for the fight, it's not too bad, mainly just a follow what your raid leader says kind of fight. Just watch the adds, kill the arm when it's hurting someone, and AOE adds.

~Jack

In Ulduar We Trust...

The Assembly of Iron consists of Steelbreaker, Runemaster Molgeim, and Stormcaller Brundir. These three run the Iron Armies of Ulduar and Northrend.

In the Ulduar Constitution, Article I Section I gives Stormcaller Brundir only those "legislative powers herein granted" and proceeds to list those permissible actions in Article I Section 8, while Section 9 lists actions that are prohibited for him. The vesting clause in Article II places no limits on Steelbreaker, simply stating that, "Executive powers shall be vested to the biggest of the Iron Assembly of Ulduar." Runemaster Molgeim holds "The judicial Power" according to Article III, and it established the implication of Judicial review in Thorim vs Loken. The Ulduar Government refers to the three as "branches of government." Steelbreaker has attempted to usurp power from Stormcaller Brundir arguing for Separation of powers to include being the Commander in Chief of a standing army since the Civil war of the Giants, executive orders, emergency powers and security classifications since the war of the ancients, national security, signing statements, and now the concept of a unitary executive.

But enough of politics, the fight varies depending on the order that you kill the three. The standard method is Steelbreaker, then Molgeim, then Brundir. After you kill one the other two get more powers and when one is left he becomes even more powerful.

~Jack

Why Kids Need a Mother Figure...

XT-002 Deconstructor is the fourth raid boss in Ulduar raid, and one of the many creations of Mimiron. He directly blocks the entrance into the lower level of Ulduar in the Scrapyard. He also seems to have the personality and mental state of a small child, considering smaller creatures to be his "toys." Judging from the amount of junk piled up in the scrapyard, he has a history of breaking his toys.

Is it just me or does anyone else want to see XT-002 and Patchwerk having a play date together?

The fight isn't too bad. The first part is a tank and spank, nothing too complicated about it. The fight does get a little tricky during the add phase. Scrapbots need to be killed before they reach the boss, Boombots need to be killed by range and the Pummelers need to be OT'd for the duration of the fight.

~Jack

Around the Bend...

Ok so real life has been keeping me busy but I thought I'd give you guys a couple screenshot of what I've got done and will publish this next week. Enjoy!

Also as some of you know with 3.1 came THE BUGS! Here's a couple that you should look for, until they fix them that is.

Grobulus no longer spawns slimes for some reason, letting your OT dps during the fight.

Sartharian's Flame walls look like wave motions now and move a lot faster so be on the ball for when it happens.

~Jack

You've got a Fiend in Me...

Thanks to everyone who's e-mailed me or left comments, glad that I could make your day. Nobody Like You Ep 2 is coming along great, and it should be done by the end of this week. And since you guys are all such great fans (all 12 of you, Hi Mom) I've got a little teaser for you. It's not much but it'll give you an idea of what Ep 2 is going to be about.

You've got a Fiend in Me

~Jack

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...

Razorsale is an iron proto-drake and the 3rd boss in Ulduar. If you've done the Sons of Hodir quest line then you've met Razorscale before and probably didn't know it. When you help Thorim get his mount back you lure the blue proto-drake Veranus to her nest. She gets captured along with Thorim during their confrontation with Loken. Veranus is in fact Razorscale! Loken changed her into the weapon you see now (like a red-neck changes the life of a sheep). Actually the best representation is Veranus is normal Spider-Man while Razorscale is black suit Spider-Man; and Ulduar has a better plot than Spider-Man 3.

The Fight is covered in depth here. She's a tough birdy to take down but she's a fun fight in my book.

~Jack

It's getting hot in here...

Ignis The Furnace Master is responsible for making the weapons designed to conquer Azeroth. But did you know he also invented the radio. A little know fact is that Marconi wasn't the first design a working radio he was just the first to have a fully functional model and presented it first. He actually coppied the idea from Tesla who had come up with the idea before him. And Tesla had stolen it from Ignis while at a World's Fair. Ignis couldn't receive signals on his but he could broadcast. And now you know the rest of the story, good day.

Now for the Fight,

Strategy

The Ignis encounter begins as a simple tank and spank fight (Naxx geared tanks can take upwards of 25000-30000 damage per hit, so healers need to be on the ball). Casters, particularly healers, should take care to stop casting before Ignis uses Flame Jets, otherwise they will be locked out of their spells for 8 seconds. All players should make sure to move out of Scorch areas. Random players will periodically be charged and placed in the Slag Pot attached to Ignis' stomach. Whichever player is charged should be healed through the DoT. Nice guy isn't he?

Iron Constructs

The fight gets slightly more complicated when Ignis activates an Iron Construct. For every active Iron Construct, Ignis gains a 15% damage bonus. No more than a couple of these should be kept up at any time. Iron Constructs should be dragged through a Scorch area until they turn Molten. Alternately, if you have root or snare capability, the Construct can be kited into the Scorch and rooted until molten. Once molten, they need to be dragged immediately to one of the water pools so that they turn Brittle. Brittle Iron Constructs are stunned for 20 seconds, have a 50% increased chance to be critically hit, and will shatter if 5000 damage is done in a single hit. Shattering a Construct will remove one stack of Ignis' damage buff.

Hope this helps.

~Jack

Flame Leviathan is Flame Leviathan Crazy...

Mimiron built the Flame Leviathan as part of the V0-L7R-0N weapons platform. Flame Leviathan was not always content with being a weapon and at the age of 14 left his home and headed for Hollywood. It was there that he landed a small roll in Endless Love, a drama/romance film starring Brooke Shields. Later that same year he had a more substantial role in the film Taps, appearing alongside George C. Scott, Timothy Hutton and Sean Penn.

In 1983, he was one of many teenaged stars to appear in Francis Ford Coppola's The Outsiders. Flame's breakthrough came after Risky Business was released, which helped to propel Flame to stardom. One sequence in the film, has Flame lip-syncing Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll" in his underwear, has become an iconic moment in 1980s film. In 85' he landed another defining role in Legend directed by Ridley Scott, solidifying him as a character actor.



Flame Leviathan's next major role was in Top Gun which opened in May 1986... oh wait is that Flame Leviathan of Tom Cruise? I aways get the two of them mixed up.



Anyway the Flame Leviathan is a fairly easy fight. Just make sure people know what their vehicles do and have a set kiting path before your attempt and you should be golden. Most guilds will down this boss on their first couple attempts. Wowwiki has a great strategy for the fight.

Also, found this great vid on College Humor. I think it's appropriate for the flaming that's going on in this post.

We Didn't Start the Flame War

~Jack

3.1 is HERE!!!

3.1 is finally here and you know what that means... I was actually bluffing there, I have no idea what it means... or do I.


If you haven't seen the trailer yet, go watch it now. Now that we've got that settled let's get down to business. Each day I'm going to cover one of the new bosses that came in 3.1 and how they play a part in the story. Yes I am in fact nerdgasiming at the new patch.


In other news, I have a little teaser of info for the Nobody Like You Ep 2. Now I know you all loved listening to my voice in Ep 1 but for the next one I'll be having another person doing a voice over for the new character. And, wait for it, it's a she.


~Jack

Tonight on the 6 O'Clock News...

First let me just say thank you to everyone who posted comments or subscribed to my vids on youtube. And to all of the people out there that flamed it; I'm a Comedian, it's how I make a living. I'm sorry but a few hecklers definitely won't bother me in the least. Now to Ollie Williams with the Battleground Report.

So Ollie, How is it in there?

BAD!

Whys that Ollie?

I GOT SHEEPED!

Don't you have a trinket for that?

HAD ONE!

What happened to it?

ON COOL DOWN! TWO MINUTES OUT!

Is there anything we can get you?

HEALS!

What kind of heals?

LIFEBLOOM!

Alright we'll get right on that...

I got all the filming done for episode 2 and I'll start editing stuff together tomorrow. See the thing I really love about this series is, unlike Lost, I actually have a plan on where I want the story to go. I'm not just making it up as I go along.

It's coming together really well and I'm hoping to have it done by the middle of next week. Real life keeps me hella busy at times and bored out of my mind at others. I like to view it as I get a mini vacation every couple days.

To anyone out there that is trying to make it in show bizz, after you've got a resume built get yourself an agent. Vicky is the best thing that has ever happened to my career. While I may not be the next Seth Rogan, I am building a career that I always have work and I'm making contacts with some very important people.

~Jack

Here Comes Peter, Hider of the Great Eggs

Since it is Easter I thought that I'd talk to you about the new improved Noblegarden. I already briefly covered what you had to do in terms of getting the items you need for the achievements. So today I'll cover some of those harder achievements and the easiest way to do them.

First of all you need the Items for the holiday. Farm until you either get them all from drops or until you have enough chocolate eggs to buy them. Getting them right off the bat will make things much easier for you.

As for the achievements, these are the ones I found were the most frustrating to get.

Shake Your Bunny-Maker: Cause I mean who isn't looking forward to hunting down female dwarfs, tauren, and trolls. The main problem with this one is the 5min cool down on the Spring Flowers. Once I found my tauren shaman and "bunnified" her, I saw the only female troll I'd seen all day sit at the bank for 4 min then logged out. Then I remembered how much I hate troll rogues.

Chocoholic: This one requires that you eat 100 Chocolate Eggs. It took me a couple days to farm all the eggs needed to purchase what I needed, and then they want me to eat a hundred of my hard earned eggs. More than anything this just adds to the tediousness of the event. By the time I got this one completed I was finished with the holiday and was truly bored with it. I defiantly didn't want to do it again on a Alt.

The rest of the achievements are more time consuming than anything; "Go here" and "plant this there" kind of stuff. Yes the event is better than it had been but it's still not perfect. I really think they should have added a 5 man boss for this event. Like a giant robot bunny in Gnomeregan that dropped a robot bunny mount. Hey a person can dream can't they?

~Jack

Messing With P.E.T.A.

P.E.T.A came to Azeroth,
To stop the seals being slain.
Little did P.E.T.A. know,
That their efforts would be in vain.
The Horde came to the beaches,
For their Daily Cooking mats.
The Alliance came as well,
The Alliance brought bats.
No P.E.T.A. Members spoke up that day,
Not even a whisper they would poke.
At the Thousands of Horde and Alliance,
Killing all the seals, as a joke.


That's right P.E.T.A. came to my server with the intention of protesting the seal killing in Canada. They had it set up with a couple Horde killing seals in the Howling Fjord, and Alliance would come and kill the Horde members. Their event did not go as planned.


Hundreds of Horde and Alliance were present for the event... all were there to kill seals.

When I first found out about this I thought to myself "Jack, my man. This has so much potential that you can't miss this." So I got a couple of my buddies on the server to join me in protesting the killing of Horde. P.E.T.A. you say that "Fur is Murder!" Well, I say killing people is murder. We gathered at the front lines of the Horde and protected them with a wall of meat (great feasts). And then I farmed about 5 stacks of Chilled Meat and couldn't stop laughing at the "Warranty void if Seal is broken" jokes that were being made.

P.E.T.A. never did actually speak up during the whole thing. I think they were way too upset that we were mocking them. But honestly, how could you expect for this not to happen when you have a guy in game named Nesingwary, who has asked you to kill almost a thousand animals for him. Yes P.E.T.A., WoW was indeed your best place to hold a demonstration for not killing things. Seriously, how the hell did P.E.T.A. think that this wasn't going to lead to them losing all credibility.

~Jack

The Great Sartharion DEATH Race

Ladies and Gentlemen, Place your bets!
Yes it's time for the great cannon ba-- err Sartharion Race.

Ok so this is how it works. In Obsidian Sanctum you are able to mount and in turn race! I mean let's face it, who hasn't killed Sarth yet? But have you tried running around the outside of the instance avoiding mobs while trying to make laps? I thought not.

To make the whole thing a bit more fun have everyone first agree on a bet amount, my guild does 10g, and have everyone agree to pay the winner at the end. The winner is the person that makes it the farthest, not the person left alive. That way you don't get people winning that waited for everyone else to go then followed. Honestly it's my favorite part of raiding now since we see if we can beat our best distance (my personal best is 12 laps).

In other news "Nobody Like You" has been featured on WoW Insider. Michael Gray wrote us a faltering post on the video and since then it's really sky rocketed. I've got the script done for Ep 2 and I'll start filming this weekend.

Real life is keeping me busy enough (got 3 shows coming up) but I couldn't be happier. I mean who wouldn't want to be a Comedian for a living.

~Jack

In Bed

Now I'm sure everyone out there has at one time or another played the "in bed" game. But in case you haven't it's where you add "in bed" to the end of a fortune from a fortune cookie (exp. You will soon experience much success... IN BED!)

Well the "in bed" game has found its way into WoW, this time using the achievement system. Now OK I'll admit it is a bit juvenile, but it's fun to act under your age sometimes. And to be honest it is a ton of fun, especially if you've got people that don't have sticks up their asses (not judging, to each their own).

Here's a brief lit of some of my favorites:

Steady Hands in bed

A Poke in the Eye in bed

To Honor One's Elders in bed

Hope this helps brighten up the daily quest grind or the 15th time you've fully cleared Naxx.

Nobody's Here

That's right the new video is up and running. I hope you all enjoy it and you tell your friends. I'll have it uploaded to warcraft movies soon (TM).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WjuAPdUxCA

Also, it's my birthday Tuesday and I'll be celebrating it by doing stand-up... Yep I'm going to be working but hey I love comedy and comedy is my job.

I've been thinking about the blog and I think I'm going to post more. Stuff like updates on what I'm doing and what I have planned. But most importantly I'm going to post on on how to have fun in WoW after you've done most everything and are getting bored with the game. And not that anyone care but I got my green proto-drake yesterday.

~Jack

Soon...

Well I'm done (almost) with my next machinima and I'm going to let you know that you will laugh, and if you don't and you think it suck... well I hope we can still be friends. I won't get too deep into the plot, if there even is one, but i will tell you there's one major lore figure and one soon to be (hopefully) loved character.

Hey if it sucks it sucks, but i can honestly tell you the protagonist is like Nobody you've ever seen...

Also, this weeks How I WoW anniversary show that went for 3+ hours was damn hilarious.

Oh, and to the five of you that care, my show went great Thursday. I got a standing ovation and I was in the middle of the show. So hey, if this whole machinima thing doesn't work out, I always have stand-up to fall back on.

~Jack

And Now For Something Completely Diffrent...

Well first of all, I spent 2 hours on the PTR last night getting Easter eggs and in general trying out the new Noblegarden. So far everything works fine and I haven't encountered any bugs. I won't ruin the holiday but for anyone that wants to know what to do, you just need to head to a starting town (Goldshire, Brill, ect.) and there will be a couple dudes with some quests.

The eggs are NOT located where they use to be. They can only be found in the noob towns themselves. Good news is that they respawn somewhere else as soon as one is looted. And you use the chocolate eggs that you get to purchase Noblegarden items. Bad news is that the bunny pet costs 100 eggs and the flowers cost 50 eggs, both you need for the achievements.

Everything considered most of the holiday is changed for the better and will be accessible to anyone. I don't like that I'm gonna have to hunt down a Tauren and Dwarf female (I tend to not look at them as a rule) with my pretty flowers. But hey, at least you can purchase all the items you'll need.

~Jack