Monday, January 25, 2010

Nobody Wants Your Advice: Till Death...

Time once again for Nobody Wants Your Advice. Answering all of your questions that you absolutely need to know.

Susan asks:
"What do you play in wow?"

NinthBatter: Thanks for your question Susan. My main is a human paladin but recently I've been playing my tauren shaman. I've raided up to the blood queen but she was bugged for us.
Lich King: I play the bad guy.
Kel'Thuzad: I actually don't play WoW, I play Second Life.

Kawqzor asks:
"How are you going to deal with the Lich King's death in nobody like you?"

Lich King: Death? *hahaha* What are you on? I'm not going to die.
NinthBatter: Didn't anyone tell him? Oh god, hey big guy we need to talk.
Lich King: WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU MEAN I DIE AT THE END OF WRATH!

Thanks for all of your great questions! If you have a question you would like answered e-mail us at ninthbatter@hotmail.com.

Also if you haven't read it yet, Polygamerous posted an in depth review of Mass Effect 2 that I wrote here. While you're there you should also download episode 6 of Polygamerous, I'm a big fan of the guest they had.

~NinthBatter

Friday, January 22, 2010

Love Advice From a Member of the Scourge

Today we have a special post where Anub'arak will give love advice. Yep you heard right, love advice from a giant undead beetle... it was part of his sign-on bonus.

Marty writes in:

"I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and we really seem to click. I get her flowers on a regular basis and we see each other about four times a week. I'd like to take the relationship to the sexual level, any advice as to what I should do?"

Anub'arak: Well there's your problem right there, the flowers. While flowers are good for flirting and little reminders they don't show any real commitment. The female needs to see that you are serious about mating. My recommendation is to bring her a dead mammoth or rhino. You say the female likes you so then the female isn't going to want to kill you and lay her eggs in you. What you need to do is get the female a carcass to lay the eggs in. This will show commitment and that you can provide for the female.

Nobody: Yeah... just make her dinner with some wine. Make sure the lighting is low and be confident. From my experience a girl that likes flowers also likes to be taken. Show that you're comfortable with her and that you want her, if you two are clicking then you should know her signals...unless she's a giant spider, then yeah... go with the dead animal.

Anub'arak: Giant spiders need love too...

~NinthBatter

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Lord Marrowgar is a nice guy....


Lord Marrowgar is the gate keeper to Icecrown Citadel. Pieced together by the Lich King from the bones of a thousand vanquished adventurers, he is the guardian of the Frozen Throne within the spire, and wields the power of the throne itself. And let me just say, he's got a bone to pick with you! You see what I did there with the bone...cause he's a giant bone... Fine don't laugh! Marrowgar would have laughed at that joke. He always laughs at my jokes. Unlike you readers Marrowgar is a nice caring individual who's only dream was to some day learn the flamenco guitar. And all you readers do is walk into his home and try to kill him! Who do you think you are? I mean the nerve of some people.


As for the fight Marrowgar is pretty easy as long as you raid has some raiding under their belts. Have the tanks stack up in front of him so that they can absorb Sabre Lash(
Splits 200% of normal melee damage to an enemy and its nearest ally) and the rest of the raid spread out so that: A)your entire raid doesn't get hit all at once by bone storm, and B)your tanks don't get hit with coldflame because they'll be taking a lot of damage as it is. He'll bone spike a party member so it's good to have ranged kill the spike. Like I mentioned earlier, Coldflame is a line of blue fire that spreads out from the boss. Once your raid can successfully avoid the Coldflame the fight becomes much easier. Finally, the boss will go into a bone storm during which he spins around the room doing a whirlwind and coldflames being cast in 4 directions. After he is done the tanks will reposition the boss and then rinse and repeat. He does have a 10 min enrage timer but if you are bringing appropriately (not blues or greens) players you shouldn't need to worry.

~NinthBatter

Monday, January 18, 2010

Nobody Wants Your Advice: MLK Day



Well here it is, the very first posting of Nobody Wants Your Advice. Given that today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day I think it is appropriate to reflect on where we've come and where we're going. While it is true that most races of Azeroth have achieved a sense of equality there are several that are still being oppressed. The Murlocs, the Gnomes, the Kobolds, and yes even the mighty Undead. This year alone hundreds of thousands of undead were slain for no other reason than they were zombies. One day I hope for the undead to be treated as equal, to be able to eat at the same restaurants as the living; this is my dream. I have a dream that undead will be able to attend the same schools, to ride the same mounts, to have the same jobs. I have a dream that we will not judge one by the decomposition of their flesh or color of their skin or sexual preference or whether or not they enjoy to eat brains!

Here's your questions,

Phorzzik asks:
Dear Lich King,

First of all let me just say that I'm a big fan of your singing, your version of Living on a Prayer was awesome! But with that being said, arn't you affraid that people will take you less seriously?

Lich King: Not at all Phorzzik. While it is true many people laugh at my performances in Nobody Like You, I take my job as the Lich King very seriously. And no matter what I do I'm sure that everyone will still fear the King of the dead with an army of undead and a kick ass sword. I'm like an onion, I have many layers.
Anub'arak: Yeah, after you remove the top layer you find a guy who can't get over his ex and who knows word for word the lyrics to Mama Mia.
Lich King: Shut Up!!!


Dragon Slayer asks:
Who's the bad guy of Nobody Like You?

Anub'arak:Uhh...
Kel'Thuzad:Tirion Fordring?
Louis: Grnaawww....
Lich King: It's Jaina right?
Nobody: Bad guy? Do we need a bad guy? Maybe nobody is the bad guy... See what I just did... there... fine don't laugh.
NinthBatter:
Fox News. Fox News is the bad guy...

Dr Pepper PHD asks:
Hey Ninth,

I saw in a post a while ago you're about to start your new job soon. Just curious as to what you do for a living?

NinthBatter: Thanks for asking Dr Pepper PHD. Starting Tuesday I will be a writer for the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. I've always been lucky with my jobs, I put in a lot of hard work and effort and it always seems to pay off. Nobody Like You was always a side project for me, something I could do to make films since I really enjoy making films but my jobs always have me doing one part of it while I like doing all the parts. Well maybe not editing, editing film is ok but not my favorite part. Anyway back to your question I just graduated from college but I've worked on films like "Funny People" and Worldwide Pants picked me up.

Thanks for all of your great questions and for the ones I didn't answer, I'm trying not to give away plot points and I can't say when the next episode will be released. But if you have a question you would like answered e-mail us at ninthbatter@hotmail.com.


~
NinthBatter

Friday, January 15, 2010

Dear Blog...

Hello blog reading peoples!

You're friendly neighborhood NinthBatter here letting you know that I'm doing a bit of a rework of the blog. I will be having regular posts about warcraft or general nerdgasims, you know whatever tickles my fancy or yours for that matter. Yes you can send me an e-mail at ninthbatter@hotmail.com and I'll post about whatever you ask.

Also every Monday I'll be posting a regular column called "Nobody Wants Your Advice" in which Nobody, the Lich King, or any other member of Nobody Like You will answer any and all questions you have. Just send them to ninthbatter@hotmail.com.

Now, I have to go back to work on Nobody Like You. And I worked on it until pretty late last night. But I want to say one thing to my followers and fans. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.

~NinthBatter

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Nobody Like You EP4



Yep that's right Nobody Like You EP4 is here, and you WILL watch it... Episode 4 actually has some plot to it and will lead up to "The Origins of Nobody" and episode 5. I hope you enjoyed EP4 because let's face it, if you people didn't like it I probably wouldn't still be doing it. In all seriousness, thank you for all of your guys' support and all comments and subscriptions. It's always nice knowing that people enjoy your work.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it but I start my new job Jan 18 and I'm sure that will be taking up a lot of my time so I'm trying to get as much machinima done as I can.

Happy New Year...unless you're on the Chinese calendar, then Happy New Year on Feb 14.

~NinthBatter

I've had my Cherry Popped...so to say...

The other night I was on my very first podcast EVER! I know what you're thinking "But Ninth you've worked on major motion pictures and in television, what's so special about a podcast?" Well I make machinima and podcasting is a step up :P Seriously though, I had a lot of fun being on Polygamerous with Syrana, Fimlys, RustyMcCheese and Daewin.

Here's the link to the show, listen and comment :)

http://www.polygamerous.com/

~Ninthbatter