Monday, July 26, 2010

Long Time Coming

Well I've been pretty quiet on this thing for a while now but there has been a reason for it. For one I've been writing a weekly article for polygamerous that you can find here. I also have a great job that has kept me more that busy as well as doing some contract work on the side. To be honest though, those are not the real reasons why I haven't released any machinima in the last 6 months. While I often take pride in saying that I do everything from the editing to the writing to the voices, there was one voice that wasn't me. Dot in real life is my best friend and she helped me pitch jokes, refine ideas, and in general encourage me. Nobody Like You had always been something that we did together. However we had a falling out around Christmas and I didn't want to work on machinima because it brought up a lot of bad memories. The good news is that we're currently patching up our friendship and I have high hopes that things will turn out for the best.

What does this mean for Nobody Like You? Well I've decided to end the series. The main reason being that Nobody Like You was always at its core about how much I enjoyed the Deathknight and the scourge. With the Lich King dying there isn't a good reason to keep it going(and he is everyone's favorite character). I am currently working on making the final 4 episodes on the series and they will be released one after another on a weekly schedule. I don't know when I'll have them done but I'll start posting pictures when I get closer to release.

Does this mean I'm done making machinima? I don't know. I first started making machinima because I was doing nothing but grunt work. I now have a job that uses me in a creative format for comedy so I don't have that reason anymore. If it's still fun when this is over with then yes I'll keep making machinima. It's never been about how many views my videos get or how well I'm known. Machinima is something I do because I love a game and it's community and want to share something with them. To be honest the viewers and fans of the series are the main reason for me making the ending.

It'll probably be a while before I do another post but before I go I just wanted to leave you all with something.

"There is nothing more tragic than the lives of we comedians. We see the world as it really is with all it's pain, hatred, and cruelty. Yet even in the darkest hour, we do not hide from the world nor do we humor any delusions that it isn't there. We choose to look it straight in its face, and laugh."
-Jack Riley


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I know Jack

Today's post is going to be a little different for today is my birthday(which I happen to share with my triplet cousins). So today you're not going to see me as Ninth Batter the machinimast and blogger. You're going to see me as Jack. I hope I can make an accurate representation of myself and give you some insight as to what makes me, well me.

In the short life that I have led I have seen love, joy, friendship, deception, cruelty, and a truly horrific act that still haunts me after 8 years. Most of my friends think I'm a brave person. I don't run away from my problems nor do I hide from the unknown. I have stood up to a man with a gun and have prevented a girl from having someone forced upon her, yet I have never considered myself brave. I act brave because people expect it from me when in reality I've always been afraid. People in my life seem to put me on a pedestal and have always expected great things. Yet I can never seem to see what everyone else sees in me.

I see a lot of people my age that think that they haven't accomplished anything in their life but most of the time that's the farthest from the truth. People seem to have this thought in their mind that just because a lot of people don't know their name they aren't successful. Success isn't measured by how many people know you but rather by how much that people that do know you care about you. I envy the father that is teaching his child how to ride a bike or the mother that never misses a soccer game. I wish I had such a influential affect on someone. When it gets down to it odds are that no one you know is going to change the world. The most one can do is shape their own world.

Life is hard for everyone whether you think it is or not. Humans naturally find conflict in their lives. If we are not fixing a conflict we are looking for one. If we can not find conflict we make conflict, it's just who we are. One of the greatest mistakes we can make is thinking that our lives are any worse that anyone else. Life is only as bad as your mind makes it. Try to not focus on the bad and instead fully enjoy all the good that is in your life. Life will always be a struggle, that's how it should me. It's that struggle that makes us stronger and teaches us who we are.

So then who am I? I am: a joker, a friend, a hopeless romantic, a person who fakes bravery, and someone who is unsure. I don't ever claim that I know all there is in the world, I just try my best with what I have. I have had many fortunate things happen in my life, all of which I am grateful for. But my luck isn't because I'm Irish, it is simply because I believe I'm lucky. I know that is a strange concept but if you believe in yourself and believe that good things happen to you, you stop noticing the bad and see much more of the good in your life.

So happy April 7th everyone. There is nothing anymore special about today than any other. Yet on this day I'd like to wish everyone well. Smile and enjoy yourself, I know I will. But then again, it is my birthday.


Monday, April 5, 2010

Good News, Bad News

Well it's been a while since I posted. Sorry if I worried you blog followers(all of my mother and her bridge club) but there is no need to be alarmed. There has been a ton of stuff that has happened since I last posted but here's the quick version. Austin, Boston, Yankee's jersey, Milkshake to the face, commercial, stand-up, Sarlacc Enforcer, script, robot stole my office. And the craziest thing is all of that is true. Anyway time for the news.

It's sort of a good news bad news type of thing. Bad news is that work and everything else has take up most of my time and I haven't had any time to work on Nobody Like You Ep5. And since my life has been so crazy I've decided to push up the schedule for Nobody Like You and I am sad to inform everyone that there will be only 2-3 more episodes.

Now for the good news; I will be making a weekly audio show segment for the Twisted Nether Blogcast. Later this week look for the two pilot episodes of "Two Guys and a Vent Channel" and "The Misadventures of Millhouse Manastorm". Everyone will be able to vote for the show that they wish to be continued so it should be fun.

Also if you haven't checked it out yet have a look at the Sarlacc Enforcer you really should... and that's all I have to say about that.


Friday, March 5, 2010

Explicit Warning

If you haven't heard I'm going to be on Slash 2 podcast tonight at 4 p.m. PST. This is another first for me because it will be my first explicit podcast. In honor of this momentous occasion I will now explain the difference between Profanity, Vulgarity, and Obscenity. Bet you didn't even know there was a difference. Be warned, I will use naughty language in this post.

Profanity: To qualify as a profanity the word or phrase has to be blasphemy like God Damn It or Jesus Christ. It originally was used to describe anything that was older than the church. For example if a building was described as being profane then the build was built before the church.

Vulgarity: A vulgarity is a harsh sounding word that replaces a proper word. Instead of using penis we'd use cock, or instead of breasts we'd use tits. It was originally used by upper class British society to describe the language of the commoners. Vulgarism litteraly means "mean folk talk".

Obscenity: These are the fun words that 13-year-olds playing Halo on xbox live love to use. To be and obscenity the word needs to refer to a sexual act or one's progeny; like fuck, bitch, and bastard. The Catholics are to thank for this one. It was originally used to describe paintings with nudity so that the church could remove it from being publicly displayed.

And now you know... CBS cares....

Friday, February 26, 2010

Nobody Likes Meetings ...

*Taken from this morning's Nobody Like You staff meeting.

NinthBatter: If you haven't heard I'll be on Twisted Nether tonight with Fimlys and Nibuca.
Lich King: Why you?
NinthBatter: Well their orginal guest had to cancel and I'm filling in.
Lick King: No I mean why "you". Why not one of us?
NinthBatter: Well I am the creator of the show.
Lich King: So. I'm the f*cking Lich King.
Nobody: I'm gonna have to agree with the big guy here. I'm the star of the show--
Lich King: Well I wouldn't say that...
Nobody: What?
Lich King: Well while I would say you're the title character. We all know that I'm the star of the show.
Kel'Thuzad: I completely agree my king. You're the driving force behind the show.
Anub'arak: Oh I'm sure you'd love him to be the driving force behind something.
Kel'Thuzad: You know I am getting pretty tired of that.
Anub'arak: What? You're and arse bandit with the shakes for king mate. Nothin' wrong with bein' what you are.
Lich King: Umm speak English.
Anub'arak: I am speaking English. "You're" using an American dialect.
NinthBatter: See this is why you guys are never invited to come on other shows. You're all very difficult to work with.

Louis: *sad* Gwnaaannn...

If you are able to make it to the show tonight, Friday February 26th at 8pm PST (11pm EST), come join us for the fun.

Friday, February 12, 2010

I get by with a little help from my friends...

With the Olympics arrival, it has me thinking about the global Warcraft community. With over 11 million players and being played in over 200 different countries, it is truly amazing the diversity that this game has. Just on a personal note I have friends in-game from England, France, Canada, Ireland, Switzerland, Sweden, Finland, Australia, Romania, Denmark, Jamaica, and New Jersey. I can't help but think that this truly describes the internet ideal. That is, friends being able to keep in constant contact despite being separated by mountains, rivers, oceans, and Detroit. Actually that is something I'd like to briefly talk about. I know a lot of people talk about their "in-game friends" and I don't see them as that, I simply see them as friends. Why should it matter how we communicate? I mean when it gets down to it there are very few friends that stay with us our whole lives but that doesn't make the others any less important.

So here's to you World of Warcraft! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet some truly extraordinary people whom I would have probably never met otherwise. And here's to all my friends, World of Warcraft related or otherwise.


Sunday, February 7, 2010

Love Advice From the Scourge: Boner Jam

Once again *sigh* I'm pleased to bring you Love Advice from the Scourge. On this weeks panel we have Anub'arak, Kel'Thuzad, The Lich King, and Nobody(because he's the only sane one). Here's today's questions from you the readers.

Bonerjam asks:"I'm currently single and have never really been in a serious relationship. I'd like to change that. Do you have any advice?"

Anub'arak: I'd start with changing your gamer tag to something other than "Boner Jam".... just saying...
Lich King: Women are not worth it. Sure it seems fun at first but then you kill an entire city to stop the spread of evil and she says "you went too far."
Kel'Thuzad: I completely agree my king. Maybe we could go out some time and do... you know... uh guy stuff.
Nobody: Well if you're the kind of guy that goes out on blind dates a lot, then make it clear that's what you're looking for sometime during the date. Another suggestion to consider is forming a friendship with the person first. That way you can build common interests and the longest lasting relationships are often those of people with many common interests.

MiniDK asks: "Any suggestion as to what I should get my girlfriend for Valentine's Day?"

Anub'arak: Severed arm, burnt corpse, still-beating heart of your enemy... you know the classics.
Lich King: I can tell you from experience that the still-beating heart of your enemy isn't for most girls.
Kel'Thuzad: Excellent answer my king. So about us going out...
Nobody: What I think these guys are trying to say is the classics are always nice. Chocolates, flowers, and stuffed animals are always good. But if you really want to go the distance this year then what you want to do is make her feel special. I'm not talking about dropping $300 on jewelry, I'm saying showing her that you know her. If she likes music then write her a song or sing her a song that she likes. If she likes books then write her a short story. Let's say you're void of creativity, then plan a romantic afternoon and come to her work to steal her away. A great idea is to recreate your first date, trust me she'll love it. As for you girls thinking about what to get your guy, sex... Get them sex.

If you have any questions you'd like answered send them in! We always like getting e-mail plus I'm planing of having a contest soon, for more information please visit and download the show and comment. Ok that was a shameless plug of my favorite podcast but I promise there might be prizes...


Friday, February 5, 2010

Behind the Scenes

So yeah, I've had bronchitis the last week and I started my new job 3 weeks ago. I'm tell you all this because I haven't gotten any work done on NBLY Ep5 or the Valentines day special. So to make you all happy I'm gonna give you a brief preview of Ep5.

Ep5 will pick up with Nobody basically getting a tour of how the Northrend Scourge work. Oh yeah I know none of you care about the plot because I have a comedy show. The next episode will be a 80's reference video and I hope you guys enjoy it. Especial because there is only another 3 to 4 episodes left of the show. Yeah I know but don't worry, when I go there will be someone to replace me and wowcrendor will be there for a while to come. Plus it'll take several months for me to finish all the episodes so fear not.


Monday, February 1, 2010


I went out to go get breakfast the other morning had an interesting talk with a guy who just moved to LA. He said he just got here Thursday and he's very confident that people will see his natural talent. He plans to have a constant job with acting. I told him about my job and then he asked me if i had any "tips". I opened the paper is was reading to the classifieds and pointed at the janitorial job at the Warner Brothers lot. He got really offend and I said "Man, I came to LA after already having a job, unless you have one hell of a resume nobody is gonna hire you." This actually a fairly common phenomena here in LA. People move here thinking that because they're young and talented everything is going to go their way. On average it takes most people 12 years (that's right) before they reach a level that they would consider themselves successful. The problem is we have many young people in the lime light. These people are the exceptions to the rule. Take me for example, I'm 23 and I have a job writing for a late night talk show. I got where I am because I'm a hard working kiss ass that has a lot of talent and is one of the luckiest bastards in the world.

Just as a bit of advice for people trying to make it in the world. Have a goal for your life, not a dream. Dreams change, goals shouldn't. For example my dream is to be one of the best writers for comedy, but my goal is to do well enough at my current job so that I can be in a position to negotiate a raise at my first employ review. Let's face it, the world is a mean tough place that will beat you into a corner and keep you there. Appreciate the things in life that make you happy whether it is friends, family, or the Raiders losing (the last one might just be me).


Monday, January 25, 2010

Nobody Wants Your Advice: Till Death...

Time once again for Nobody Wants Your Advice. Answering all of your questions that you absolutely need to know.

Susan asks:
"What do you play in wow?"

NinthBatter: Thanks for your question Susan. My main is a human paladin but recently I've been playing my tauren shaman. I've raided up to the blood queen but she was bugged for us.
Lich King: I play the bad guy.
Kel'Thuzad: I actually don't play WoW, I play Second Life.

Kawqzor asks:
"How are you going to deal with the Lich King's death in nobody like you?"

Lich King: Death? *hahaha* What are you on? I'm not going to die.
NinthBatter: Didn't anyone tell him? Oh god, hey big guy we need to talk.

Thanks for all of your great questions! If you have a question you would like answered e-mail us at

Also if you haven't read it yet, Polygamerous posted an in depth review of Mass Effect 2 that I wrote here. While you're there you should also download episode 6 of Polygamerous, I'm a big fan of the guest they had.


Friday, January 22, 2010

Love Advice From a Member of the Scourge

Today we have a special post where Anub'arak will give love advice. Yep you heard right, love advice from a giant undead beetle... it was part of his sign-on bonus.

Marty writes in:

"I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and we really seem to click. I get her flowers on a regular basis and we see each other about four times a week. I'd like to take the relationship to the sexual level, any advice as to what I should do?"

Anub'arak: Well there's your problem right there, the flowers. While flowers are good for flirting and little reminders they don't show any real commitment. The female needs to see that you are serious about mating. My recommendation is to bring her a dead mammoth or rhino. You say the female likes you so then the female isn't going to want to kill you and lay her eggs in you. What you need to do is get the female a carcass to lay the eggs in. This will show commitment and that you can provide for the female.

Nobody: Yeah... just make her dinner with some wine. Make sure the lighting is low and be confident. From my experience a girl that likes flowers also likes to be taken. Show that you're comfortable with her and that you want her, if you two are clicking then you should know her signals...unless she's a giant spider, then yeah... go with the dead animal.

Anub'arak: Giant spiders need love too...


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Lord Marrowgar is a nice guy....

Lord Marrowgar is the gate keeper to Icecrown Citadel. Pieced together by the Lich King from the bones of a thousand vanquished adventurers, he is the guardian of the Frozen Throne within the spire, and wields the power of the throne itself. And let me just say, he's got a bone to pick with you! You see what I did there with the bone...cause he's a giant bone... Fine don't laugh! Marrowgar would have laughed at that joke. He always laughs at my jokes. Unlike you readers Marrowgar is a nice caring individual who's only dream was to some day learn the flamenco guitar. And all you readers do is walk into his home and try to kill him! Who do you think you are? I mean the nerve of some people.

As for the fight Marrowgar is pretty easy as long as you raid has some raiding under their belts. Have the tanks stack up in front of him so that they can absorb Sabre Lash(
Splits 200% of normal melee damage to an enemy and its nearest ally) and the rest of the raid spread out so that: A)your entire raid doesn't get hit all at once by bone storm, and B)your tanks don't get hit with coldflame because they'll be taking a lot of damage as it is. He'll bone spike a party member so it's good to have ranged kill the spike. Like I mentioned earlier, Coldflame is a line of blue fire that spreads out from the boss. Once your raid can successfully avoid the Coldflame the fight becomes much easier. Finally, the boss will go into a bone storm during which he spins around the room doing a whirlwind and coldflames being cast in 4 directions. After he is done the tanks will reposition the boss and then rinse and repeat. He does have a 10 min enrage timer but if you are bringing appropriately (not blues or greens) players you shouldn't need to worry.


Monday, January 18, 2010

Nobody Wants Your Advice: MLK Day

Well here it is, the very first posting of Nobody Wants Your Advice. Given that today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day I think it is appropriate to reflect on where we've come and where we're going. While it is true that most races of Azeroth have achieved a sense of equality there are several that are still being oppressed. The Murlocs, the Gnomes, the Kobolds, and yes even the mighty Undead. This year alone hundreds of thousands of undead were slain for no other reason than they were zombies. One day I hope for the undead to be treated as equal, to be able to eat at the same restaurants as the living; this is my dream. I have a dream that undead will be able to attend the same schools, to ride the same mounts, to have the same jobs. I have a dream that we will not judge one by the decomposition of their flesh or color of their skin or sexual preference or whether or not they enjoy to eat brains!

Here's your questions,

Phorzzik asks:
Dear Lich King,

First of all let me just say that I'm a big fan of your singing, your version of Living on a Prayer was awesome! But with that being said, arn't you affraid that people will take you less seriously?

Lich King: Not at all Phorzzik. While it is true many people laugh at my performances in Nobody Like You, I take my job as the Lich King very seriously. And no matter what I do I'm sure that everyone will still fear the King of the dead with an army of undead and a kick ass sword. I'm like an onion, I have many layers.
Anub'arak: Yeah, after you remove the top layer you find a guy who can't get over his ex and who knows word for word the lyrics to Mama Mia.
Lich King: Shut Up!!!

Dragon Slayer asks:
Who's the bad guy of Nobody Like You?

Kel'Thuzad:Tirion Fordring?
Louis: Grnaawww....
Lich King: It's Jaina right?
Nobody: Bad guy? Do we need a bad guy? Maybe nobody is the bad guy... See what I just did... there... fine don't laugh.
Fox News. Fox News is the bad guy...

Dr Pepper PHD asks:
Hey Ninth,

I saw in a post a while ago you're about to start your new job soon. Just curious as to what you do for a living?

NinthBatter: Thanks for asking Dr Pepper PHD. Starting Tuesday I will be a writer for the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. I've always been lucky with my jobs, I put in a lot of hard work and effort and it always seems to pay off. Nobody Like You was always a side project for me, something I could do to make films since I really enjoy making films but my jobs always have me doing one part of it while I like doing all the parts. Well maybe not editing, editing film is ok but not my favorite part. Anyway back to your question I just graduated from college but I've worked on films like "Funny People" and Worldwide Pants picked me up.

Thanks for all of your great questions and for the ones I didn't answer, I'm trying not to give away plot points and I can't say when the next episode will be released. But if you have a question you would like answered e-mail us at


Friday, January 15, 2010

Dear Blog...

Hello blog reading peoples!

You're friendly neighborhood NinthBatter here letting you know that I'm doing a bit of a rework of the blog. I will be having regular posts about warcraft or general nerdgasims, you know whatever tickles my fancy or yours for that matter. Yes you can send me an e-mail at and I'll post about whatever you ask.

Also every Monday I'll be posting a regular column called "Nobody Wants Your Advice" in which Nobody, the Lich King, or any other member of Nobody Like You will answer any and all questions you have. Just send them to

Now, I have to go back to work on Nobody Like You. And I worked on it until pretty late last night. But I want to say one thing to my followers and fans. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Nobody Like You EP4

Yep that's right Nobody Like You EP4 is here, and you WILL watch it... Episode 4 actually has some plot to it and will lead up to "The Origins of Nobody" and episode 5. I hope you enjoyed EP4 because let's face it, if you people didn't like it I probably wouldn't still be doing it. In all seriousness, thank you for all of your guys' support and all comments and subscriptions. It's always nice knowing that people enjoy your work.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it but I start my new job Jan 18 and I'm sure that will be taking up a lot of my time so I'm trying to get as much machinima done as I can.

Happy New Year...unless you're on the Chinese calendar, then Happy New Year on Feb 14.


I've had my Cherry to say...

The other night I was on my very first podcast EVER! I know what you're thinking "But Ninth you've worked on major motion pictures and in television, what's so special about a podcast?" Well I make machinima and podcasting is a step up :P Seriously though, I had a lot of fun being on Polygamerous with Syrana, Fimlys, RustyMcCheese and Daewin.

Here's the link to the show, listen and comment :)