Thursday, May 7, 2009

Where Nobody has gone before...

As many of you know the new Star Trek movie is coming out Friday. In honor of a sci-fi series that has touched the lives of billions (I'm a starwars man myself) with the premise of exploring new worlds and meeting new species, I decided to go where no WoW player has gone before... I went to Second Life. Here is a recounting of the half hour I spent in Second Life.

Stardate: 90210 year of the Ox-π... mmm pie...

After downloading the free trial and creating an avatar I logged into Second Life. Looking around I saw fairies, moose-men, vampires, and smurfs; clearly my human avatar stuck out like a swore thumb. As I took my first steps on this strange planet I was bombarded with several what we would call tells. They are as follows "Do you want to get raped by a lion?" "How do I move?" "Fast cheap gold delivered to you in-game for World of Warcraft, prices starting at..." I sh*t you not, those are the exact tells.

Deciding that being raped by a lion just wasn't my thing, I moved to a "market" place where you could buy a plethora of items. Guns, fake boobs, pizza, everything that you could think of was there. After browsing a few stores I noticed that you could purchase statues of what ever you wanted, one that got my attention the most was the large and intricate unicorn. I noticed a "walrus man" approach the unicorn. As he neared it the unicorn came to life, grabbed him,and then(to my horror) started to f*ck him (That's right, go play Second Life for all of your unicorn statue that will rape people needs).

I logged off immediately, uninstalled Second Life, and then sat in the fetal position for a couple hours. After I regained some of my sanity I vowed never to step foot into that hell hole again. I'll stick to Warcraft where the sane people are at.



  1. I am the same way! My wife loves that shit so I tried it out my self and it is ridiculous! I am there with you man.


  2. how sad is that? wow really is the sanest place for gamers out there. great post btw, i was in stiches at the tell from the wow gold seller