Ninth Batter

Long Time Coming

2010-07-26T15:27:00.000-07:00

Well I've been pretty quiet on this thing for a while now but there has been a reason for it. For one I've been writing a weekly article for polygamerous that you can find here. I also have a great job that has kept me more that busy as well as doing some contract work on the side. To be honest though, those are not the real reasons why I haven't released any machinima in the last 6 months. While I often take pride in saying that I do everything from the editing to the writing to the voices, there was one voice that wasn't me. Dot in real life is my best friend and she helped me pitch jokes, refine ideas, and in general encourage me. Nobody Like You had always been something that we did together. However we had a falling out around Christmas and I didn't want to work on machinima because it brought up a lot of bad memories. The good news is that we're currently patching up our friendship and I have high hopes that things will turn out for the best.

What does this mean for Nobody Like You? Well I've decided to end the series. The main reason being that Nobody Like You was always at its core about how much I enjoyed the Deathknight and the scourge. With the Lich King dying there isn't a good reason to keep it going(and he is everyone's favorite character). I am currently working on making the final 4 episodes on the series and they will be released one after another on a weekly schedule. I don't know when I'll have them done but I'll start posting pictures when I get closer to release.

Does this mean I'm done making machinima? I don't know. I first started making machinima because I was doing nothing but grunt work. I now have a job that uses me in a creative format for comedy so I don't have that reason anymore. If it's still fun when this is over with then yes I'll keep making machinima. It's never been about how many views my videos get or how well I'm known. Machinima is something I do because I love a game and it's community and want to share something with them. To be honest the viewers and fans of the series are the main reason for me making the ending.

It'll probably be a while before I do another post but before I go I just wanted to leave you all with something.

"There is nothing more tragic than the lives of we comedians. We see the world as it really is with all it's pain, hatred, and cruelty. Yet even in the darkest hour, we do not hide from the world nor do we humor any delusions that it isn't there. We choose to look it straight in its face, and laugh."

-Jack Riley

~Ninthbatter

I know Jack

2010-04-06T22:51:00.001-07:00

Today's post is going to be a little different for today is my birthday(which I happen to share with my triplet cousins). So today you're not going to see me as Ninth Batter the machinimast and blogger. You're going to see me as Jack. I hope I can make an accurate representation of myself and give you some insight as to what makes me, well me.

In the short life that I have led I have seen love, joy, friendship, deception, cruelty, and a truly horrific act that still haunts me after 8 years. Most of my friends think I'm a brave person. I don't run away from my problems nor do I hide from the unknown. I have stood up to a man with a gun and have prevented a girl from having someone forced upon her, yet I have never considered myself brave. I act brave because people expect it from me when in reality I've always been afraid. People in my life seem to put me on a pedestal and have always expected great things. Yet I can never seem to see what everyone else sees in me.

I see a lot of people my age that think that they haven't accomplished anything in their life but most of the time that's the farthest from the truth. People seem to have this thought in their mind that just because a lot of people don't know their name they aren't successful. Success isn't measured by how many people know you but rather by how much that people that do know you care about you. I envy the father that is teaching his child how to ride a bike or the mother that never misses a soccer game. I wish I had such a influential affect on someone. When it gets down to it odds are that no one you know is going to change the world. The most one can do is shape their own world.

Life is hard for everyone whether you think it is or not. Humans naturally find conflict in their lives. If we are not fixing a conflict we are looking for one. If we can not find conflict we make conflict, it's just who we are. One of the greatest mistakes we can make is thinking that our lives are any worse that anyone else. Life is only as bad as your mind makes it. Try to not focus on the bad and instead fully enjoy all the good that is in your life. Life will always be a struggle, that's how it should me. It's that struggle that makes us stronger and teaches us who we are.

So then who am I? I am: a joker, a friend, a hopeless romantic, a person who fakes bravery, and someone who is unsure. I don't ever claim that I know all there is in the world, I just try my best with what I have. I have had many fortunate things happen in my life, all of which I am grateful for. But my luck isn't because I'm Irish, it is simply because I believe I'm lucky. I know that is a strange concept but if you believe in yourself and believe that good things happen to you, you stop noticing the bad and see much more of the good in your life.

So happy April 7th everyone. There is nothing anymore special about today than any other. Yet on this day I'd like to wish everyone well. Smile and enjoy yourself, I know I will. But then again, it is my birthday.

~Jack

Good News, Bad News

2010-04-05T18:08:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a while since I posted. Sorry if I worried you blog followers(all of my mother and her bridge club) but there is no need to be alarmed. There has been a ton of stuff that has happened since I last posted but here's the quick version. Austin, Boston, Yankee's jersey, Milkshake to the face, commercial, stand-up, Sarlacc Enforcer, script, robot stole my office. And the craziest thing is all of that is true. Anyway time for the news.

It's sort of a good news bad news type of thing. Bad news is that work and everything else has take up most of my time and I haven't had any time to work on Nobody Like You Ep5. And since my life has been so crazy I've decided to push up the schedule for Nobody Like You and I am sad to inform everyone that there will be only 2-3 more episodes.

Now for the good news; I will be making a weekly audio show segment for the Twisted Nether Blogcast. Later this week look for the two pilot episodes of "Two Guys and a Vent Channel" and "The Misadventures of Millhouse Manastorm". Everyone will be able to vote for the show that they wish to be continued so it should be fun.

Also if you haven't checked it out yet have a look at the Sarlacc Enforcer you really should... and that's all I have to say about that.

~NinthBatter

Explicit Warning

2010-03-05T10:30:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard I'm going to be on Slash 2 podcast tonight at 4 p.m. PST. This is another first for me because it will be my first explicit podcast. In honor of this momentous occasion I will now explain the difference between Profanity, Vulgarity, and Obscenity. Bet you didn't even know there was a difference. Be warned, I will use naughty language in this post.

Profanity: To qualify as a profanity the word or phrase has to be blasphemy like God Damn It or Jesus Christ. It originally was used to describe anything that was older than the church. For example if a building was described as being profane then the build was built before the church.

Vulgarity: A vulgarity is a harsh sounding word that replaces a proper word. Instead of using penis we'd use cock, or instead of breasts we'd use tits. It was originally used by upper class British society to describe the language of the commoners. Vulgarism litteraly means "mean folk talk".

Obscenity: These are the fun words that 13-year-olds playing Halo on xbox live love to use. To be and obscenity the word needs to refer to a sexual act or one's progeny; like fuck, bitch, and bastard. The Catholics are to thank for this one. It was originally used to describe paintings with nudity so that the church could remove it from being publicly displayed.

And now you know... CBS cares....

Nobody Likes Meetings ...

2010-02-26T09:08:00.000-08:00

*Taken from this morning's Nobody Like You staff meeting.

NinthBatter: If you haven't heard I'll be on Twisted Nether tonight with Fimlys and Nibuca.
Lich King: Why you?
NinthBatter: Well their orginal guest had to cancel and I'm filling in.
Lick King: No I mean why "you". Why not one of us?
NinthBatter: Well I am the creator of the show.
Lich King: So. I'm the f*cking Lich King.
Nobody: I'm gonna have to agree with the big guy here. I'm the star of the show--
Lich King: Well I wouldn't say that...
Nobody: What?
Lich King: Well while I would say you're the title character. We all know that I'm the star of the show.
Kel'Thuzad: I completely agree my king. You're the driving force behind the show.
Anub'arak: Oh I'm sure you'd love him to be the driving force behind something.
Kel'Thuzad: You know I am getting pretty tired of that.
Anub'arak: What? You're and arse bandit with the shakes for king mate. Nothin' wrong with bein' what you are.
Lich King: Umm speak English.
Anub'arak: I am speaking English. "You're" using an American dialect.
NinthBatter: See this is why you guys are never invited to come on other shows. You're all very difficult to work with.

Louis: *sad* Gwnaaannn...

If you are able to make it to the show tonight, Friday February 26th at 8pm PST (11pm EST), come join us for the fun. http://www.ustream.tv/channel/twisted-nether-blogcast

I get by with a little help from my friends...

2010-02-12T20:06:00.000-08:00

With the Olympics arrival, it has me thinking about the global Warcraft community. With over 11 million players and being played in over 200 different countries, it is truly amazing the diversity that this game has. Just on a personal note I have friends in-game from England, France, Canada, Ireland, Switzerland, Sweden, Finland, Australia, Romania, Denmark, Jamaica, and New Jersey. I can't help but think that this truly describes the internet ideal. That is, friends being able to keep in constant contact despite being separated by mountains, rivers, oceans, and Detroit. Actually that is something I'd like to briefly talk about. I know a lot of people talk about their "in-game friends" and I don't see them as that, I simply see them as friends. Why should it matter how we communicate? I mean when it gets down to it there are very few friends that stay with us our whole lives but that doesn't make the others any less important.

So here's to you World of Warcraft! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet some truly extraordinary people whom I would have probably never met otherwise. And here's to all my friends, World of Warcraft related or otherwise.

~NinthBatter

Love Advice From the Scourge: Boner Jam

2010-02-07T19:05:00.000-08:00

Once again *sigh* I'm pleased to bring you Love Advice from the Scourge. On this weeks panel we have Anub'arak, Kel'Thuzad, The Lich King, and Nobody(because he's the only sane one). Here's today's questions from you the readers.

Bonerjam asks:"I'm currently single and have never really been in a serious relationship. I'd like to change that. Do you have any advice?"

Anub'arak: I'd start with changing your gamer tag to something other than "Boner Jam".... just saying...
Lich King: Women are not worth it. Sure it seems fun at first but then you kill an entire city to stop the spread of evil and she says "you went too far."
Kel'Thuzad: I completely agree my king. Maybe we could go out some time and do... you know... uh guy stuff.
Nobody: Well if you're the kind of guy that goes out on blind dates a lot, then make it clear that's what you're looking for sometime during the date. Another suggestion to consider is forming a friendship with the person first. That way you can build common interests and the longest lasting relationships are often those of people with many common interests.

MiniDK asks: "Any suggestion as to what I should get my girlfriend for Valentine's Day?"

Anub'arak: Severed arm, burnt corpse, still-beating heart of your enemy... you know the classics.
Lich King: I can tell you from experience that the still-beating heart of your enemy isn't for most girls.
Kel'Thuzad: Excellent answer my king. So about us going out...
Nobody: What I think these guys are trying to say is the classics are always nice. Chocolates, flowers, and stuffed animals are always good. But if you really want to go the distance this year then what you want to do is make her feel special. I'm not talking about dropping $300 on jewelry, I'm saying showing her that you know her. If she likes music then write her a song or sing her a song that she likes. If she likes books then write her a short story. Let's say you're void of creativity, then plan a romantic afternoon and come to her work to steal her away. A great idea is to recreate your first date, trust me she'll love it. As for you girls thinking about what to get your guy, sex... Get them sex.

If you have any questions you'd like answered send them in! We always like getting e-mail ninthbatter@hotmail.com plus I'm planing of having a contest soon, for more information please visit http://www.polygamerous.com/ and download the show and comment. Ok that was a shameless plug of my favorite podcast but I promise there might be prizes...

~NinthBatter

Behind the Scenes

2010-02-05T20:41:00.000-08:00

So yeah, I've had bronchitis the last week and I started my new job 3 weeks ago. I'm tell you all this because I haven't gotten any work done on NBLY Ep5 or the Valentines day special. So to make you all happy I'm gonna give you a brief preview of Ep5.

Ep5 will pick up with Nobody basically getting a tour of how the Northrend Scourge work. Oh yeah I know none of you care about the plot because I have a comedy show. The next episode will be a 80's reference video and I hope you guys enjoy it. Especial because there is only another 3 to 4 episodes left of the show. Yeah I know but don't worry, when I go there will be someone to replace me and wowcrendor will be there for a while to come. Plus it'll take several months for me to finish all the episodes so fear not.

~NinthBatter

Life

2010-02-01T14:24:00.000-08:00

I went out to go get breakfast the other morning had an interesting talk with a guy who just moved to LA. He said he just got here Thursday and he's very confident that people will see his natural talent. He plans to have a constant job with acting. I told him about my job and then he asked me if i had any "tips". I opened the paper is was reading to the classifieds and pointed at the janitorial job at the Warner Brothers lot. He got really offend and I said "Man, I came to LA after already having a job, unless you have one hell of a resume nobody is gonna hire you." This actually a fairly common phenomena here in LA. People move here thinking that because they're young and talented everything is going to go their way. On average it takes most people 12 years (that's right) before they reach a level that they would consider themselves successful. The problem is we have many young people in the lime light. These people are the exceptions to the rule. Take me for example, I'm 23 and I have a job writing for a late night talk show. I got where I am because I'm a hard working kiss ass that has a lot of talent and is one of the luckiest bastards in the world.

Just as a bit of advice for people trying to make it in the world. Have a goal for your life, not a dream. Dreams change, goals shouldn't. For example my dream is to be one of the best writers for comedy, but my goal is to do well enough at my current job so that I can be in a position to negotiate a raise at my first employ review. Let's face it, the world is a mean tough place that will beat you into a corner and keep you there. Appreciate the things in life that make you happy whether it is friends, family, or the Raiders losing (the last one might just be me).

~NinthBatter

Nobody Wants Your Advice: Till Death...

2010-01-25T16:10:00.001-08:00

Time once again for Nobody Wants Your Advice. Answering all of your questions that you absolutely need to know.

Susan asks:
"What do you play in wow?"

NinthBatter: Thanks for your question Susan. My main is a human paladin but recently I've been playing my tauren shaman. I've raided up to the blood queen but she was bugged for us.
Lich King: I play the bad guy.
Kel'Thuzad: I actually don't play WoW, I play Second Life.

Kawqzor asks:
"How are you going to deal with the Lich King's death in nobody like you?"

Lich King: Death? *hahaha* What are you on? I'm not going to die.
NinthBatter: Didn't anyone tell him? Oh god, hey big guy we need to talk.
Lich King: WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU MEAN I DIE AT THE END OF WRATH!

Thanks for all of your great questions! If you have a question you would like answered e-mail us at ninthbatter@hotmail.com.

Also if you haven't read it yet, Polygamerous posted an in depth review of Mass Effect 2 that I wrote here. While you're there you should also download episode 6 of Polygamerous, I'm a big fan of the guest they had.

~NinthBatter

Love Advice From a Member of the Scourge

2010-01-22T12:41:00.001-08:00

Today we have a special post where Anub'arak will give love advice. Yep you heard right, love advice from a giant undead beetle... it was part of his sign-on bonus.

Marty writes in:

"I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and we really seem to click. I get her flowers on a regular basis and we see each other about four times a week. I'd like to take the relationship to the sexual level, any advice as to what I should do?"

Anub'arak: Well there's your problem right there, the flowers. While flowers are good for flirting and little reminders they don't show any real commitment. The female needs to see that you are serious about mating. My recommendation is to bring her a dead mammoth or rhino. You say the female likes you so then the female isn't going to want to kill you and lay her eggs in you. What you need to do is get the female a carcass to lay the eggs in. This will show commitment and that you can provide for the female.

Nobody: Yeah... just make her dinner with some wine. Make sure the lighting is low and be confident. From my experience a girl that likes flowers also likes to be taken. Show that you're comfortable with her and that you want her, if you two are clicking then you should know her signals...unless she's a giant spider, then yeah... go with the dead animal.

Anub'arak: Giant spiders need love too...

~NinthBatter

Lord Marrowgar is a nice guy....

2010-01-20T17:36:00.000-08:00

Lord Marrowgar is the gate keeper to Icecrown Citadel. Pieced together by the Lich King from the bones of a thousand vanquished adventurers, he is the guardian of the Frozen Throne within the spire, and wields the power of the throne itself. And let me just say, he's got a bone to pick with you! You see what I did there with the bone...cause he's a giant bone... Fine don't laugh! Marrowgar would have laughed at that joke. He always laughs at my jokes. Unlike you readers Marrowgar is a nice caring individual who's only dream was to some day learn the flamenco guitar. And all you readers do is walk into his home and try to kill him! Who do you think you are? I mean the nerve of some people.

As for the fight Marrowgar is pretty easy as long as you raid has some raiding under their belts. Have the tanks stack up in front of him so that they can absorb Sabre Lash(Splits 200% of normal melee damage to an enemy and its nearest ally) and the rest of the raid spread out so that: A)your entire raid doesn't get hit all at once by bone storm, and B)your tanks don't get hit with coldflame because they'll be taking a lot of damage as it is. He'll bone spike a party member so it's good to have ranged kill the spike. Like I mentioned earlier, Coldflame is a line of blue fire that spreads out from the boss. Once your raid can successfully avoid the Coldflame the fight becomes much easier. Finally, the boss will go into a bone storm during which he spins around the room doing a whirlwind and coldflames being cast in 4 directions. After he is done the tanks will reposition the boss and then rinse and repeat. He does have a 10 min enrage timer but if you are bringing appropriately (not blues or greens) players you shouldn't need to worry.

~NinthBatter

Nobody Wants Your Advice: MLK Day

2010-01-18T12:24:00.001-08:00

Well here it is, the very first posting of Nobody Wants Your Advice. Given that today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day I think it is appropriate to reflect on where we've come and where we're going. While it is true that most races of Azeroth have achieved a sense of equality there are several that are still being oppressed. The Murlocs, the Gnomes, the Kobolds, and yes even the mighty Undead. This year alone hundreds of thousands of undead were slain for no other reason than they were zombies. One day I hope for the undead to be treated as equal, to be able to eat at the same restaurants as the living; this is my dream. I have a dream that undead will be able to attend the same schools, to ride the same mounts, to have the same jobs. I have a dream that we will not judge one by the decomposition of their flesh or color of their skin or sexual preference or whether or not they enjoy to eat brains!

Here's your questions,

Phorzzik asks:
Dear Lich King,

First of all let me just say that I'm a big fan of your singing, your version of Living on a Prayer was awesome! But with that being said, arn't you affraid that people will take you less seriously?

Lich King: Not at all Phorzzik. While it is true many people laugh at my performances in Nobody Like You, I take my job as the Lich King very seriously. And no matter what I do I'm sure that everyone will still fear the King of the dead with an army of undead and a kick ass sword. I'm like an onion, I have many layers.
Anub'arak: Yeah, after you remove the top layer you find a guy who can't get over his ex and who knows word for word the lyrics to Mama Mia.
Lich King: Shut Up!!!

Dragon Slayer asks:
Who's the bad guy of Nobody Like You?

Anub'arak:Uhh...
Kel'Thuzad:Tirion Fordring?
Louis: Grnaawww....
Lich King: It's Jaina right?
Nobody: Bad guy? Do we need a bad guy? Maybe nobody is the bad guy... See what I just did... there... fine don't laugh.
NinthBatter:Fox News. Fox News is the bad guy...

Dr Pepper PHD asks:
Hey Ninth,

I saw in a post a while ago you're about to start your new job soon. Just curious as to what you do for a living?

NinthBatter: Thanks for asking Dr Pepper PHD. Starting Tuesday I will be a writer for the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. I've always been lucky with my jobs, I put in a lot of hard work and effort and it always seems to pay off. Nobody Like You was always a side project for me, something I could do to make films since I really enjoy making films but my jobs always have me doing one part of it while I like doing all the parts. Well maybe not editing, editing film is ok but not my favorite part. Anyway back to your question I just graduated from college but I've worked on films like "Funny People" and Worldwide Pants picked me up.

Thanks for all of your great questions and for the ones I didn't answer, I'm trying not to give away plot points and I can't say when the next episode will be released. But if you have a question you would like answered e-mail us at ninthbatter@hotmail.com.

~NinthBatter

Dear Blog...

2010-01-15T23:32:00.000-08:00

Hello blog reading peoples!

You're friendly neighborhood NinthBatter here letting you know that I'm doing a bit of a rework of the blog. I will be having regular posts about warcraft or general nerdgasims, you know whatever tickles my fancy or yours for that matter. Yes you can send me an e-mail at ninthbatter@hotmail.com and I'll post about whatever you ask.

Also every Monday I'll be posting a regular column called "Nobody Wants Your Advice" in which Nobody, the Lich King, or any other member of Nobody Like You will answer any and all questions you have. Just send them to ninthbatter@hotmail.com.

Now, I have to go back to work on Nobody Like You. And I worked on it until pretty late last night. But I want to say one thing to my followers and fans. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.

~NinthBatter

Nobody Like You EP4

2010-01-05T17:50:00.000-08:00

Yep that's right Nobody Like You EP4 is here, and you WILL watch it... Episode 4 actually has some plot to it and will lead up to "The Origins of Nobody" and episode 5. I hope you enjoyed EP4 because let's face it, if you people didn't like it I probably wouldn't still be doing it. In all seriousness, thank you for all of your guys' support and all comments and subscriptions. It's always nice knowing that people enjoy your work.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it but I start my new job Jan 18 and I'm sure that will be taking up a lot of my time so I'm trying to get as much machinima done as I can.

Happy New Year...unless you're on the Chinese calendar, then Happy New Year on Feb 14.

~NinthBatter

I've had my Cherry Popped...so to say...

2010-01-05T17:42:00.000-08:00

The other night I was on my very first podcast EVER! I know what you're thinking "But Ninth you've worked on major motion pictures and in television, what's so special about a podcast?" Well I make machinima and podcasting is a step up :P Seriously though, I had a lot of fun being on Polygamerous with Syrana, Fimlys, RustyMcCheese and Daewin.

Here's the link to the show, listen and comment :)

http://www.polygamerous.com/

~Ninthbatter

Christ--er Hanukkah Special?

2009-12-22T22:04:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone and happy holidays!

This was a short video I made this afternoon because the weather sucked and because of a conversation I had with a friend. Now I'm not Jewish but I had the same friend review the script so I'm hoping that I don't go to hell over this whole thing. Anyway the conversation I had was that there wasn't any Hanukkah Machinima out there. Crazy I know! And yes I understand this is a little late for Hanukkah

Anyway I promised someone very special to me that I'd try to stay way from the computer but I figured I should get this out before Christmas and with the bad weather it was a constructive use of my time... Wow I just said making a 4 min video about Hanukkah using world of warcraft was constructive. I need my new job to start soon....

MP3 of the song
http://www.4shared.com/file/179150255/51e670e8/Lich_King_Hanukka_song.html

~NinthBatter

Nobody Like You: Halloween

2009-10-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

That's right the new instalment of Nobody Like You is here! Well it's a short special about Halloween but it's still good! Don't worry I'm already working on EP 4 so it's not like it's going to be another month until you get EP 4.

The Halloween Special was made this last weekend... yeah made the whole thing in one weekend script to finish, take that... someone who... does fast movies... Anyway, I hope you enjoy the video!

Also you can download the mp3 of the credits music here:

http://www.4shared.com/file/143979945/85cc6862/lich_king_i_will_surivive.html

And the link to Hearts, Hands, and Voices for Child's Play is here:

http://www.azerothunited.com/hhv/

~NinthBatter

Hi...

2009-10-07T19:23:00.000-07:00

Hey, long time no see blog. So as many of you(all 12 of you) probably figured out I've been away for a while. To be honest I wrote a script for EP4 and it wasn't working and I just needed a break. Having some time I tried to figure out where I wanted to go with the show and what the point of the show should be. I have a solid plan now and I'm going to start recording lines for the new script tonight.

But now for the real news.

When I took a break it was from everything wow related, including the wow insider podcast which I had been the most unofficial part of the show. Aparently for the last few weeks someone has been pretending to be me in the chat channel. Yeah someone felt that they needed to pretend to be a machinimast just so they could have a little bit of power with the show. Fucked up I know, and surprisingly not the first time someone has pretended to be me. So here's what I have to say to that person.

Dude what the fuck? The reason I have mod rights is because I made not only the WoW Insider Song machinima I also did Troller's Delight and have been a constant voice in the chat channel. All you did was pretend to be someone else. And the reason I'm more pissed than I normally would be is because you've been giving false information about me. My birthday is in April, which you almost got called out on in the show cause cause Turpster can see what my birthday is in skype.

I'm not famous, or big, or even that great of a machinimast. I'm a fan of the community, that's it. I love that Brigwyn not only writes a blog and records a podcast (or 3) each week but also gets thousands of dollars for charity by uniting some community celebrities. Turpster is hands down one of the cleverest people I've ever met and would help out anyone that asked it. Boubouille reports every major wow news no more than a couple hours after it happens. Mike Shramm is one of the key bloggers of the game and has helped many podcasts and bloggers get their start. Mike Gray finds and posts a new Machinima everyday on wow.com and gives them all great and accurate reviews, he understands that people make the films cause they love the game. And it was recently announced that Patrick Beja was Superman!

So that's it I'm back and I'm here to stay. I had forgotten why I loved this game and I remember now. I don't love the game, I love the community. My name is Jack Riley aka NinthBatter and I make World of Warcaft machinima. And remember, marriage is just prostitution with an instalment plan.

~NinthBatter

MMO-Champion Hacked!

2009-09-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

Holy f@#$ing Paladin Bubble, mmo-champion.com has been hacked! Luckily it looks like it's fixed but that's a scary thought to think about, especially because of the number of visitors it gets.

Also I'm working on Nobody Like You EP4 so I'm gonna get back to that.

EDIT: so apparently mmo-chamion didn't get hacked, Boubouille just needs more sleep http://www.mmo-champion.com/index.php

~NinthBatter

In Flight

2009-08-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

Well while I'm enjoying my 6hr layover in Sea-Tac, I thought I'd talk about one of my pet peevs but is getting removed is the expansion so whatever.

Ok blizz I know you like showing all the hard work you've done on your terrain but come on! Stone Talon mountains is right under Ashenvale, why the hell do I need to fly to the coast when I could just go over the mountains? And I know that there's nothing there to hurt me or my bird (not that I've ever 'creatively jumped' like that before). But I guess it doesn't matter cause the expansion will change that all, so yay nerdrage...

In machinima news I've got 3 machinima's planed, all of which will be completed. One is Nobody Like You EP4, and the trailer for EP4, and a special one that is going to be done with some famousish people.

~NinthBatter

Make a Difference

2009-08-19T14:27:00.000-07:00

I'd like to say that I was off on some adventure in which I was trying to unearth the Arc of the Covenant (hell I would have taken going to the Amazon to return a skull to some aliens), but alas I was just swamped with work. So I guess I better make this post super extra special huh? Well I come to you with a issue that have been very close to the Nobody Like You cast and crew.

WoW to Blizzard is a organization committed to bringing light to a epidemic that is facing the Warcraft community as a whole, nerfing. Every patch day 11 million players are nerfed for no reason other than they were too strong in pvp and were dominating one class in particular. WoW to Blizzard hopes that through Internet viral adds, T-shirt sells, and a casual passing comment on Oprah their message will be received by Blizzard and the nerfing will stop.

If you wish to support the WoW to Blizzard just go to you local wow forums and start a thread complaining about how your class is the only one that ever gets nerfed. Thank you for your time.

Also, here's the link to download the Lich King's "Unliving on a Prayer" from Nobody Like You EP3 http://www.4shared.com/file/122771012/f6a879a7/unliving_on_a_prayer.html

~NinthBatter

I could dig this...

2009-07-21T10:16:00.000-07:00

So as many of you know, the new suspected races are the worgen and the goblins. This has been brought about because the data miners have found two new sets of very detailed Halloween masks. Now at first I was like, well goblins make sense and a werewolf mask would make sense too. But a female worgen mask? We've never seen a female worgen ingame, and she has make-up on. Now let's get into some of the lore here, aka would it make sense.

Goblins

This is extremely believable for a new race for the horde. They already favor the horde, and they're the primary cross continent travel for the horde. One of the trade princess could have got pissed at the alliance and sides solely with the horde.

Worgen

Well there's two options here for what we could see. The people of Gilneas could have been changed into worgen. They use to be part of the alliance and from what I understand people can be turned into worgen. The second option is the worgen that were under the influence of Archmage Arugal are free to do whatever they want. From what I've read the worgen homeworld is in a all out war between the worgen and the Lords of the Emerald Flame. As far as I know the only emerald fire is from fel magic, so I'm thinking the Burning Legion. Also they have a previous relationship with humans and night elves so them siding with the alliance is a lot more likely than the horde.

~NinthBatter

Nobody Like You EP3

2009-07-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

First of all let me just say that I'm sorry about the lack of posts last week but as you can see I was up to something. I really wanted to get episode 3 of Nobody Like You done so I crammed all my free time to get it done. Although looking back at the project, I had to cut 2mins of the episode cause the time was running too long so that could have probably saved me some time.

Episode 3 picks up right after Episode 2 and that's all I can say without it being a huge spoiler. I can say that the 4th wall will been broken in this episode... just like every other one. Oh and to those that I parodied, it was meant as a joke not an attack. Also I'm sorry for how long it took to make this episode. The original plan was for it to be released the week after episode 2 but Turpster approached me to do a machinima for him. And let's face it, Turpster is one dreamy Brit.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the video and there will, with out a question, be an episode 4. But with my job schedule I wouldn't expect it to be for a couple of months. Oh and please feel free to drop me a line at ninthbatter@hotmail.com or http://twitter.com/NinthBatter and of course my youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/user/NinthBatter.

edit: problem with the video, didn't upload the last 1/4 of the video, working on it.

edit 11:16 pm 7-13: reduced the video quality and re-uploaded it to youtube. should work fine now.

~NinthBatter

I'm Not Bias...

2009-07-01T18:23:00.000-07:00

So with me being back in Montana for the week and my bum foot (damn cactus), I've had some time to work on Nobody Like You and I got some time on the PTR today. I'll warn you now that whatever you read after this will be a spoiler on the new children's week orphans.

Spoiler

First off, when you talk to the Orphan Matron she will give you the choice of Oracle / Frenzyheart(or gremlins and oohmpa-pa's). After you have chosen there is no going back, so make sure you pick the one you want right off the bat. I've done both, but I favor the Oracles so they're the one I'm gonna talk about.

You're little orphan Oracle is named Roo. And like all Oracles, he has the best flavor text ever! For example:

"Why do the puppy-people hatchlings say we should pity Lafoo? Lafoo talk a lot, but he still our friend."

Like all the orphans you take this little bundle of teeth and smiles to various locations so he can see things and meet important people. But here's the best part, you know at the end of all these quests the orphan is always like "I wish I could keep traveling with you." Well this little guy comes through. He'll write you a letter saying he wants you to take him on journeys whenever you want, and attached to the letter is the curious oracle hatchling. So you really can take him with you!

~Ninth Batter

Habbu Say What?!?!?

2009-06-29T18:01:00.000-07:00

It was announced today that the option to change your faction is in the works. I'm not sure how I feel about this so I'm going to give some pros and cons and then some crazy speculation. Cause let's face it, who doesn't love crazy speculation?

Pro

Friends won't have to be divided just cause the one person didn't know what faction to roll.

It may help some servers with balancing the horde/ally ratio.

Players can now feel the same way on the outside as the do on the inside. Just like Chaz Bono.

Hopefully less dwarf females.

Con

Ninjas can disappear even faster, and gold farmers can f*ck with your account even more.

Lack of faction pride.

Makes it less of a choice when choosing a faction.

Now for the crazy speculation! In the next expansion we will finally see a neutral faction consisting of goblins, ethereals, ogres, and furbolgs. They'll be able to group with both factions and gain rep with both the horde and the alliance. Although let's say you gain rep with Ogrimmar you lose rep with Ironforge.

~Ninth Batter

Special 50th Post!

2009-06-27T15:17:00.000-07:00

That's right this is the 50th post I've done, crazy right. So for the special 50th post I did a podcast... a week ago. Hey I was hella busy this week! Anyway hope you enjoy the podcast and I'll should have regular posting starting next week.

Here's the links:
Part1
Part2

~Ninth Batter

The Curse of 3...

2009-06-15T17:37:00.000-07:00

Yes I actually have some news about Nobody Like You Ep 3. In fact this whole post will be about it! Now with all media there has been a curse on every 3rd instalment of a series. I'm here to inform you on what you can expect in the episode and hopefully the series.

The main character will not become Emo.

The plants won't be the reason everyone is committing suicide.

It won't be a dream.

We won't f*ck up the character of Deadpool.

We won't get the worse child actor ever to play the kid version of the Lich King. Wow although now that I mention it, Arthas is a Vader rip off.

We won't kill Patrick Stewart.

The Aliens won't die when they come in contact with water. (seriously, they decided to invade a planet that is covered with the stuff, the highest lifeforms are 80% the stuff, oh and yeah, it falls from the sky)

We'll make sure Han Solo shot first.

Eric Bana will not be the Hulk.

The main character does not have Amnesia.

The "smoke monster" will not be some memory cloud.

And finally, MALE COWS DON'T HAVE UDDERS! Seriously WTF Barnyard!

Well there you have it, I hoped you enjoyed this look into the next episode. It is about halfway done and I'll try to get it done soon(TM) but with work I haven't had that much free time. Speaking of work, we burned down a house the other day. Ah the things we'll do for a joke.

~Jack

To Protect Our Children...

2009-06-12T16:41:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard about the new mount and travel changes, well here you go. I'll list some of the changes then I'll discuss my thoughts on the matter. Also sorry about the flier, but there isn't any punch and pie.

Apprentice Riding (Skill 75)
60% land mount speed
Requires level 20
Cost: 4 gold
Mount cost: 1 gold
Mail will be sent to players at level 20 guiding them to the riding trainer

Riding (Skill 150)
100% land mount speed
Requires level 40
Cost: 50 gold
Mount cost: 10 gold
Mail will be sent to players at level 40 guiding them back to the riding trainer

150% flying mount speed; 60% land mount speed
Requires level 60
Cost: 600 gold (faction discounts now apply)
Mount Cost: 50 gold
Can now be learned in Honor Hold (Alliance) or Thrallmar (Horde)

280% flying mount speed; 100% land mount speed
Requires level 70
Cost: 5,000 gold (faction discounts now apply)
Mount Cost: 100 gold

A new zeppelin route is being added in Thunder Bluff and will transport players to Orgrimmar.

Druid
Travel Form: Requires level 16
Flight Form: Requires level 60 (150% flight speed)
Swift Flight Form: Requires level 70

Hunter
Aspect of the Cheetah: Requires level 16

Shaman
Ghost Wolf: Requires level 16

Portals from Ogrimmar and Stormwind to the Dark Portal.

Ok now the zeplin between Ogrimmar and Thunder Bluff is nice, especially since Ally can all hub through Stormwind. Everything else I'm not too thrilled about. Was blizz really losing so many players between lvl20-30 that they needed to do that? Does it really take that long to level? I mean it only took me a week or so to get to lvl 40 on my last alt. And really?!? A portal from Stormwind and Ogrimmar to the Dark Portal. Was it really that hard to take the bird/zeplin?

Blizz really seems to be wanting to fast track any new player (possibly to replace the loss of players recently, summer and otherwise) but will they get the same experience that was originally meant. I mean one of the cool things was getting my first mount and realizing in the process how big Azeroth really is. In all seriousness, mark my words! This will only lead to obesity amongst our younger toons.

~Jack

I'm Talking to You...

2009-06-10T18:40:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple days I've actually researched a topic(shocking I know) and I think that with today's announcement it is a perfect time to write this post.

What Blizzard is Doing Wrong

Over the last week I've spoken to a lot of my friends about why there seems to be a loss of interest from the players of World of Warcraft. From the hardcore the casual, the famous to the... not-so-much? Meh whatever. One thing that everyone seems to agree on what is wrong with WotLK was how much and often they've made class changes. We're not talking small class changes but we're talking the complete removal and addition of spells.

In Burning Crusade sure we always had class changes but they never changed our talents like they have or the effect that the base stats have. Now we all knew Death Knights were going to have major work done on them, they are a new class after all. But the drastic change to mana regen and the removal of talents and spells from classes. Instead of balancing what they have they seem to have the philosophy of "well we'll just take that out or give them something in place of it." This is just leading to frustrated players who don't want to relearn how to play their toon every time a patch comes out.

Another concern players are having is some of the reasoning for the changing of our classes. While in BC a vast amount of people did pvp (especially arena for free loot), with the change to the loot you get, most people only do wintergrasp; and lets face it, when is there ever a 1v1 in wintergrasp?(yeah, the answer is never) So why are they drastically changing our classes because of pvp? I can understand changing a spell so it works differently in pvp compared to pve (polymorph for example). But why are they changing how much damage a spell does in both pvp and pve when it's balanced in pve but is "too bursty" for pvp?

Now I understand that the summer "raider drought" is underway but my server has basically lost 3/4ths of the raiding guilds that are there, and it wasn't because they got stuck in Ulduar, people have just lost interest. I know it's only a couple months (if that) until 3.2 but will players be coming back for it? I think so, there really isn't a new MMO that will be out and if they haven't swapped to to another MMO then they are not likely to.

We'll just have to see what happens, but I think we'll see a return of players with Midsummer Fire Festival. Hopefully they've changed the boss (aka made him lvl 80) and they've added some new stuff for Northrend. I'll definitely be making machinima for a long time to come. While I love my job, I don't have the creative rights like I do with machinima and I view it as practice for when I'm running the show (but since I'm only 22 that probably won't be for a while). Plus I enjoy doing it, and when it gets down to it if you aren't enjoying it then what's the point? (I'm talking to you Joaquin Phoenix)

~Jack

Watch Out...

2009-06-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

Now we've all seen them before or have at least heard of them, scammers. Recently WoW.com did a interview with a scammer that was very interesting to me. I've always heard of people having it happen to them but the interview they did was a bit disturbing. He had a complete lack of guilt about the whole thing saying that "well it happened to me..." And while I do agree it is just a game but it's like if I stole your baseball bat and you were playing a game. He'll probably end up having some issues with his personality at a later date but as of now nothing has happened to him.

Now the scam is he was "selling" a Reins of the Swift Spectral Tiger code and he'd have you put the gold into trade just to make sure you had it. Then he sends you a link to a site that looks exactly like the blizzard one and then he rips your account. Honestly all I can say to these scammers out there is F*CK YOU!

~Jack

Do or do not, there is no try...

2009-06-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

Everyone has that one game that they loved and couldn't stop playing over and over again. For many that game is Peggle, but for me it was Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. What really drove this game home for me was Bioware's ability to really tell a story. You throw some great game play and great voice overs and it's no suprise that they won over a hundred awards including 48 "best game of the year" awards. And now they're coming out with a new MMO with a similar basis.

While I love Warcraft, I can help but be excited for this game to come out. I know that there isn't such a thing as a "Warcraft killer" but if this game is a success I could foresee it being a serious competitor in the MMO market. The one thing that Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic had that most other star wars games didn't, was the enjoyability it had for people. Even people who didn't like star wars. Anyway the trailer is linked above courtesy of Massively.

~Jack

Under the Mask..

2009-06-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

The topic I'm going to talk about today has concerned me a lot and I think it needs to be brought to the forefront. Some of you may know who Ferarro is but if you don't, they were the writer of the Paladin Schmaladin blog. I actually followed this blog for a while while I was looking for some tips and tricks about my own pally. But as it was reviled by Jagoex and WoW.com Ferarro wasn't all she said she was. She had some pictures that she claimed where her but the truth of that is about as straight as Tom Cruise (or is it Flame Leviathan, I always get those two mixed up). The photo's were actually of Sarah Townsend of TechDarling (a good site for fashion for technology). Next she claimed that Ferarro wasn't one person but seven, WoW.com investigated this and found that the IP addresses were the same, so unless this was seven people all living in the same house using the same computer it's a bunch of B.S. from her (if it even is a her).

So this leads to the tried and true statement of "Don't believe anything you've read on the Internet unless you wrote it yourself." In light of this I've got some things I need to get off my chest. My real name isn't actually NinthBatter, shocker I know. I work in the film industry I am not a proffesional machinimast or blogger. To put my job in layman's terms, I come up with alternate lines for TV versions of the film I'm working on and I come up with idea's on the spot if a scene isn't working out. Above is a picture of me (and my dog) at Halloween this last year.

Ok and here's the big one... I'm not Batman... but I think my dog is...

~Jack

About Damn Time...

2009-06-01T17:58:00.000-07:00

So as many of you probably know, Blizzard has announced that in 3.2 there will be new druid models. Let me repeat that, THERE WILL BE NEW DRUID MODELS!!! Ok everyone understand? Good.

I love that the new models will be dependent on your hair color. This makes it feel more that they're individual toons instead of "well it's another bear tank." I can't wait to see what the new cat forms look like. I never had a issue with the Night Elf cat, thought it was pretty cool personally, but the man-pig-cow-lion thing that the Tauren have is atrocious. I'm sure that during their creation some designer was like "For the Alliance lol."

I want to see them continue with this trend though. I want to see new tree form and boomkin models coming our way. I know we probably won't be seeing new flight forms but Blizz should redo seal and travel form. I personally think travel form should scale with your mount speed, this would make druids more definable when seeing one run by. And, as I've noticed recently, how ironic is a druid on a mechanostrider? Seal needs an update as well, especially if the next expansion is going to be the Maelstrom.

I had food poisoning this weekend from a bad bowl of popcorn from the movie theater. I mean it wasn't bad enough that this theater wasn't showing "Drag Me to Hell" but did they also have to give me the worst craps of my life? Also I really haven't had anytime recently to work on Nobody Like You, work has had us with a 5 a.m. shooting schedule. And let me tell you, when your job is to be funny it's not so easy to do early in the morning.

~Jack

Too short even to name...

2009-05-25T18:29:00.001-07:00

I'm gonna make this one a bit brief. This weekend has had me swamped on pretty much all sides. Here's the video I did for the special live WoW Insider show.

~Jack

Please take a seat...

2009-05-23T10:26:00.000-07:00

So as many of you know I work in the film industry. If you did not know this it's ok, my Grandma still thinks I'm a civil engineering student. Anyway, my job picks up filming starting Tuesday and I'll have less time to post. I'll try to keep it every day posting like it has been but I may have to switch to posting every other day. And for those that wonder what film I'm working on I can't tell you the name cause of the NDA I signed, but I can say it's technically a sequel and it's starring a "chubby" Jewish comedian and a sexually deviate British comedian.

Also make sure you tune into http://www.ustream.tv/channel/wow-insider-show to see the project I did for a buddy that made me not turn out Nobody Like You Episode 3 like I was going to. But it's cool I'll finish up Nobody Like You as soon as I can and then It'll be money.

(p.s. That's a pic of my dog at Halloween last year)

~Jack

Would you like another hour....

2009-05-21T12:21:00.000-07:00

Downloadable content (dlc) is what I see as the future of video games. It has been appearing more and more with the recent economic troubles, and of everything that has been brought about because of the recession, dlc is the best. You know that game you love so much, and you wish they'd come out with the sequel "well while we're working on the sequel here's a new zone for you to have fun with."

This really was first made popular by WoW. They gave their players whole new zones and area's to explore with out charging the player anything but a subscription renewal. This kept the players interested in their game and the player didn't spend money buying another game.

This trend will really define games from now on. It will also ensure that those games you love stay around and the player base will stay pretty consistent.

And for all of you loyal fans, a new pic for the project I just finished. Make sure to turn in to http://www.ustream.tv/channel/wow-insider-show Saturday at 3:30p.m. est.

~Jack

And now for something completely different...

2009-05-20T12:01:00.000-07:00

Well WoW Insider is now WoW.com and the site has gone through the works. It's a whole new blueish toned look but all the bloggers are still there so no need to worry.

The main thing that the new site has is social networking. You just sign up then modify whatever you want to modify. Add me as a friend and I'll add you to mine; just don't tell anyone, my mom doesn't like me talking to strangers (jc my mom just doesn't like me talking to Decepticons ).

Another new addition is their add-on that sends updates to the site when you're playing the game. I think it's a cool feature, that way you can see what people are up to if they aren't on your server. It brings a whole new level to the game in my opinion.

~Jack

I'm Back...

2009-05-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone sorry for the lack of posts but some how the blog got flagged for "hurtful and demeaning attacks at a single person". Now that I've sorted it out with them my account has been unlocked and I can post again. And boy do I have stuff to post.

We'll I think I'll start off with how dependent I am on my left hand's pinkie. I broke it and let me tell you, it is tuff as sh*t trying to type with out it and playing wow is equally hard. I've been messing up my rotation and retching in pain because I used my pinkie. Now I'm sure you'll say "Don't you have pain killers?" Yes I do, but the problem I have is they make me fall asleep, so it's either pass out playing wow or not pass out but be in pain. I choose the later.

Anyway the picture about is a screen shot of the project I've been working on which will be reveled Saturday. Nobody Like You Ep 3 is going great and I'll try to it get done as quickly as possible.

Dude Stop the QQ...

2009-05-14T11:22:00.000-07:00

I follow WoW Insider Moviewatch pretty religiously. I enjoy the variety of machinima that they show and Michael Grey gives every film a nice review. But there's a guy that keeps posting saying that "the film selection sucks" and "my movie is so great." The guy just really disappoints me as one a "machinimast" and two a person that does work in the film industry.

He just seems to be missing the point of making machinima. He says he's bitter for not being featured on Moviewatch, sorry no, I don't buy that. He's whining cause he's not getting what he want, and he's missing the point of machinima. Machinima is not something we get paid for, but is something authors do in their free time because they enjoy doing it. As long as you enjoyed making your movie, that's all that matters. It shouldn't matter if you get the kudos from a certain website or not.

Also as for him saying the selection of films stinks, Grey posts a new machinima M-F every week. That's just amazing in my book that WoW has that many fans out their that do that sort of work. I'm not saying I get everything that's posted there (not everything is everyone's taste) but I would never call any of it crap.

Authors make films of warcraft cause they enjoy the game. And when it all comes down to it, this is a game. Enjoy yourself in what ever your ventures are.

~Jack

I'm a whore...

2009-05-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

It's come to my attention that I am not the distinguished nerd I thought I was. I thought I choose my nerdisms based on their merit and how they reflected humanity as a whole. Nope, I'm just a nerd/geek media whore. For example, I was trying to say that I'm a Star Wars fan and not a Trekie, but alas this is not the case. I mean everyone is going to love the new Star Trek movie but, I knew that the T in Jame T. Kirk stood for Tiberius even before going into the theater.

This has lead to a self realization that I just hop on the wagon for every new popular sci-fi/fantasy media that comes out. I feel dirty... like syphilis dirty.

~Jack

Evolution vs Divine Intervention...

2009-05-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

So the guild I'm in, of which I'm one of the guild leaders, turned two years old this last week and it has made me think of where I've been and how far I've come since I was a blue eyed noob.

So my first toon ever was my Paladin (who is still my main) and let me tell you, I was amazed at how fast the levels were going and the humor that was involved in killing things (You no steal candle!). But when I reached those damn murlocks by the logging camp, I met my first real challenge and noob moment. I didn't know until lvl8 that I as a paladin could heal myself, yeah I know. Hey I read the text and it said "heals friendly target for X amount" little did I know that I was in fact a friendly target to myself. But hey we're all noobs at one point and time.

Another thing about myself I thought was funny is in vanilla WoW I was Ret, Holy in BC, and I'm now Prot in WotLK. I guess we all evolve in this game over time. Also EP 3 of "Nobody Like You" is coming along wonderfully and I also have another project I'll be starting soon and it should be another great project. I'll try to get ep 3 out this week but if not this week it'll be out next week.

~Jack

I have a dream...

2009-05-09T11:09:00.000-07:00

As many of you know I play Warcraft, shocker I know. But to my disbelief I was called a noob, by no other than the raid leader of the raid I was in. Such hurtful words have led me to cancel my subscription and *reads prompter* quit the game... no really... oh god... oh god... the words hurt so bad... Yeah right, like I'd quit something I enjoy because a d-bag is doing what it is that makes them a d-bag.

So I was in 25man Vault the other day and the raid leader called me out saying I was a noob for not having deadly boss mods. I then informed him that not only do I not have deadly boss mods, I don't have any add-ons except recount. This lead the the whole raid mocking me since it was their guild run and I was the only pug. But to their dismay I was top dps for both Emalon and Archavon. So a melee dps (Death Knight) was not only top dps for both fights but also took the least amount of damage and was a good 4% dps above everyone else (everyone was in Naxx gear with a couple Ulduar drops, my DK is in naxx and pvp gear, I was doing 3.5k dps).

So here's my question, Why does it matter what add-ons you have? If you're a good player you're a good player. Just because you have a thing that flashes for you saying "you're standing in a place you shouldn't be standing in" doesn't make you the best player out there. I judge people by how they do with what gear they have and if they learn fast what has to happen. I think there's a lot of good players out there that aren't getting the praise they should. Yes I know gear matters once you're in Ulduar, and if your raid leader requires a certain add-on you should probably get it.

I don't think anyone should judge someone by the fact that they don't have the same add-ons and they do. Judge them because they're a troll or gnome! Yes judge them by the fact that they're stoners or if they can't reach the top shelf.

~Jack

Do the Dew Justice...

2009-05-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

With the new Warcraft themed Mountain Dew only a week away (I know this because while I was doing my research I found their website that has a count down until release) many players in the WoW community are asking "And why do we care again?" and I completely agree. There are a few things that bother me with this whole thing. I know this is all subject to change since the product hasn't been released yet.

Ok Mountain Dew, I get you're trying to establish that you're the drink for gamers since Dr. Pepper has been moving in on your turf. But hey, they won the contract with MLG fair and square. The problem I have with you is you're not even doing the research for your target audience. Your "flavors" are "Horde Red" and "Alliance Blue". Is that really the best names your marketing team can come up with? Why not "Blood and Thunder" for the horde version and "Thunder Brew" for the Alliance. Hell I would have been happy with Runn Tum Tuber Surprise and Kungaloosh.

Now this is all speculation, but it appears that a minipet will be offered with the release of your product. That's cool in my opinion, but is this your doing or Blizzard's? I know this isn't the first time Blizz has used a soft drink to market for them but this isn't Peggle that we're talking about. World of Warcraft has one of the largest player base (if not the largest) for the current gaming community. Bring out the big guns guys, I'd love to see a WoW mountain dew commercial and I do hope the codes on the caps have in-game rewards. Hell do some viral advertising for it. Have some Warcraft characters roam the streets of L.A. And I'm not talking about some humans wondering around, I want tauren and murlocks!

But most of all, please please PLEASE let the drinks taste good. I remember the Halo 3 stuff you guys had and I remember me not drinking anymore after the first sip.

~Jack

Where Nobody has gone before...

2009-05-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

As many of you know the new Star Trek movie is coming out Friday. In honor of a sci-fi series that has touched the lives of billions (I'm a starwars man myself) with the premise of exploring new worlds and meeting new species, I decided to go where no WoW player has gone before... I went to Second Life. Here is a recounting of the half hour I spent in Second Life.

Stardate: 90210 year of the Ox-π... mmm pie...

After downloading the free trial and creating an avatar I logged into Second Life. Looking around I saw fairies, moose-men, vampires, and smurfs; clearly my human avatar stuck out like a swore thumb. As I took my first steps on this strange planet I was bombarded with several what we would call tells. They are as follows "Do you want to get raped by a lion?" "How do I move?" "Fast cheap gold delivered to you in-game for World of Warcraft, prices starting at..." I sh*t you not, those are the exact tells.

Deciding that being raped by a lion just wasn't my thing, I moved to a "market" place where you could buy a plethora of items. Guns, fake boobs, pizza, everything that you could think of was there. After browsing a few stores I noticed that you could purchase statues of what ever you wanted, one that got my attention the most was the large and intricate unicorn. I noticed a "walrus man" approach the unicorn. As he neared it the unicorn came to life, grabbed him,and then(to my horror) started to f*ck him (That's right, go play Second Life for all of your unicorn statue that will rape people needs).

I logged off immediately, uninstalled Second Life, and then sat in the fetal position for a couple hours. After I regained some of my sanity I vowed never to step foot into that hell hole again. I'll stick to Warcraft where the sane people are at.

~Jack

Not a piñata...

2009-05-06T12:19:00.000-07:00

Emalon the Storm Watcher is the new boss in the vault of--what? You were expecting Algalon today? Well since no one has downed him yet I'm going to say that I'm not qualified on telling you how to fight him. And besides Emalon is a good boss too!

Emalon is not a loot piñata, this should be made clear at the beginning of the fight. He's pretty simple once you've got the fight down but understand HE IS NOT A LOOT PINATA! Ok so he has some adds that should probably be picked up by an OT, but if your MT is geared they can be tanked by the MT as well. He will do a Lightning Nova that all melee needs to run out of. He will also occasionally overcharge one of his adds and if it is not killed fast it will wipe your raid. I know some people say that your OT should be able to mark the add for the dps, but come on. If you can't target the add that is 3 times larger than the rest you are--well I don't want to be mean so you're just bad at targeting large things. Rinse and repeat until desired effect.

~Jack

It's a she...

2009-05-05T11:54:00.000-07:00

Ah good old Yoggy--err Yogg-Saron, whatever I like Yoggy better. Yoggy has influenced the minds of the mortal races of Azeroth for countless years now. Also apparently Yoggy is a girl, I say this because his--her first persona is Sara. So when you're fighting that beast of a million maws, just remember it's a she and don't be insensitive about how big her mouths are.

As for the fight, I have no f@#king idea how to fight this boss, nor am I going to pretend like I do. From what I've read and what I've heard from friends this fight is a lot like C'Thun. Aka this boss is tuff as hell and you're gonna need to do your research on him--err sorry her and be prepared to wipe a lot. Here's a link for a strategy and a description of the boss fight.

~Jack

Mr. Stinky-fish-face-lobster-giant-thing...

2009-05-04T12:12:00.000-07:00

General Vezax, or Mr. Stinky-fish-face-lobster-giant-thing as I like to call him, is the last boss before Yoggy. He's a faceless one and what you think is his face is actually more like an elbow than anything else. Vezax is actually the former TV star Kirk Cameron... What? There's no joke here I'm being serious. What do you mean he does a bunch of Christ promos?!? Yeah right, and Doogie Howser is co-staring in a show with Jason Segel that's narrated by Bob Saget... Ok now you're just f@#king with me.

The fight can be broken into 4 steps:

step 1:
Before pulling General Vezax assign casters to groups to rotate through the process of regenerating mana through the clouds.
step 2:
Pull General Vezax, and start DPSing.
step 3:
Interrupt Searing Flames when General Vezax starts casting it.
step 4:
When General Vezax casts Surge of darkness stop all DPS on him. Have the tank kite him, since General Vezax will move 55% slower. It should be the perfect time for your casters to start taking the clouds for mana regeneration, and the healers to start AOE healing them.
Rotate through the caster groups to not overwhelm your healers.

~Jack

Karaoke Night

2009-05-03T17:25:00.000-07:00

Brief post today but I think you'll like it. It's the song from the credits of Nobody Like You Ep 3. Episode 3 is coming along great and it will be done in the next couple of weeks since I've got real life $%!# up the wazzoo right now. Anyway it's Sunday Night at the World's End Tavern and you know what that means! It's Karaoke Night! Click the link to listen.

Nobody to Love

~Jack

With great power comes great responsibility...

2009-05-02T17:30:00.000-07:00

Since today's topic has been getting a lot of publicity I thought I'd try to give a fairly logical look into the Martin Fury-Karatechop incident. For the full interview with Karatechop by Lesley Smith(a wonderful writer for wow insider) on the subject you can you can check it out here. I'm going to look at the holes that I see in the story and what I know from personal experience with blizzard. I've been temp. banned for trolling from the forums because I re-posted a topic that was deleted because of of the posts by a actual troll was sexual. But hey I didn't know and yeah I was upset but it was only for a week.

The short version of what happened was Karatechop's guild bank got robbed and in the process of blizzard refunding their items they sent them Martin Fury. The shirt is a end all, it kills everything in a 30yrd radius. The item was designed by blizzard for testing purposes, to see if death animation work and doors properly open when a boss is killed. Karatechop says that they had it for a few months and had used it on Malygos once when they were bored. And after the release of Ulduar they used it after not being able to down Flame Leviathan. They killed everything, including Algalon. He was permanently banned because of this.

From what I can see here's the major points for both sides:

Karatechop:

A GM sent them the item, they didn't hack.

The shirt only has a hundred charges, it can't be used forever.

They thought blizz was being cool for everything that had happened.

The item could have been a typo on blizzards part, item 17 instead of item 17206.

Blizzard

We don't know what blizz knows about the situation, dude might be a GM or have a friend who is and had the item given to him that way.

Karatechop is defiantly not the wide-eyed gnome he tries to make himself out to be. They knew to kill the bosses on their hard modes or else they couldn't get to Algalon. They cleared new progression content before everyone else, even Vodka and Ensidia.

They got a world first by using it and the item says "Cheater" on the bottom.

My personal belief is that this is a simple case of WoW espionage. Karatechop had uncovered a plot that blizzard was trying to gain legal control over all the water reserves in various Central and South American countries. He was attempting to get the word on the matter to the press, but blizzard got to him first. They have him detained in a undisclosed location.

~Jack

You better not pout...

2009-05-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

Yes it's Hodir, father of those Sons that you hate grinding rep for. He is the lord of winter and has a mouth in his stomach. A nifty thing I thought was he may in fact be Father Winter. Since he is the lord of winter and the father of the giants, this could have easily been changed over the years to become the Father Winter that we hope gives us the right mini pet each year.

The fight is a combination of Saph from Naxx and the last boss in Nexus. You need to keep moving so that the frost dot doesn't stack up on you too much. A nice way to combat this is to stand by one of the cozy fires, this only applies if you are ranged. If you're melee, you're f@#$!d. Also remember that frost resist gear you were gonna get rid of, this fight is a lot easier with it and your OT is gonna have to have it when he uses his horn (OT with frost resist will need to taunt the boss so the MT doesn't take the frost damage). And he does flash freeze which you'll need to get onto the snow drifts (they form from the icicles that drop from the ceiling), if you don't you'll get frozen and you're raid will need to break you out of the ice cube. He also roots people so have mass dispel or hand of freedom is really nice for this fight.

~Jack

Who Watches the Watchers?

2009-04-30T11:52:00.000-07:00

Mimiron, or really big mechagnome as I like to call him, is the creator... of things. He basically designed most of the ulduar defense systems and is the "father" of the gnome race. V-07-TR-0N is this ultimate creation, but after the anti-super hero laws passed in the 70's he retired his suit and turned to a cooperate life. He started the Pyramid company and with the help of Algalon he has eliminated our dependence on fossil fuels, he has also made millions from his toy line featuring the watchers. Mimiron is indeed the smartest gnome on Azeroth.

The fight is split into 4 phases, first another flame leviathan then a anti-personnel cannon, then the bowser flying head. The fourth phase he combines them together to make Voltron!--err V-07-TR-0N. During this phase you'll need to kill all the parts at the same time (within 10 secs of each other) this will prob be a bit more difficult on 10man since you'll only have 5 dps.

~Jack

Hey I remember you...

2009-04-29T11:34:00.000-07:00

Thorim served the titans as guardian of Ulduar and the Terrace of the Makers, and protecting the pacts between the races of frost. After betraying the Pantheon, Thorim's brother Loken tricked him into betraying his frost giant allies by murdering his wife, Sif, and blaming it on the frost giant king. Thorim was enraged, striking out at his allies and then settling into a long stupor. He was later sent to the human world in the body of a medical student where he fought crime. After being noticed by the Avengers Thorim joined the team and had been a major member until the Scrull invasion.

This fight begins with a large worm that needs to be faced away from the group. After the adds are dead kill her which will get you into the second stage of the fight. Then the raid will need to split into two groups, one staying in the middle and fighting vrykul while avoiding the outside edges. The other will be running the gauntlet, fighting their way to him. Speed is a factor with the gauntlet because after 5 min Thorim will wipe the group. After the gauntlet group reaches the top he'll hop down where the MT needs to grab him, after he does his Unbalancing strike the OT needs to taunt the boss, and so on for the rest of the fight. You'll also need to watch for the orbs of energy cause it means he's about to to cover a third of the arena in lightning in relation to him and the pillar at a 60 degrees angle.

~Jack

Ladies First...

2009-04-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

Freya the Lifewarden is one of the 5 watchers of Azeroth and guardian of life, at all costs. Like the red dragon flight (5 watchers, 5 dragon flights, cool huh?) she has been tasked with guarding life in all forms and ensuring its survival. She is a "Daughter of the Titians", so I guess if this was Greek mythology she'd be a demigod or a minor god.

Just like Sartharion, she has 3 adds that will buff her and depending on how many are left alive determines the difficulty of the fight. The fight is split into two phases, phase one being waves of adds and phase two being a tank and spank. The tricky part of the fight is making sure dps survive phase one so that they have enough dps to overpower the HoT she puts on herself in phase two.

~Jack

The Maiden of... Cats?..

2009-04-27T11:52:00.000-07:00

Hey look it's the Maiden of Virt-- err Auriaya, a large women found in Ulduar. Ok sorry about that, I should really read my notes before hand. Auriaya is the *looks off camera* you're joking right? Well Auriaya is the "crazy cat lady" of Ulduar (every neighborhood has one) and judging by the cats, she's hella crazy.

The fight isn't too bad, like High King Maulgar in Gruul's Lair it is all about the pull. The pull is the most crucial element to the fight, and it is not uncommon for your group to spend longer learning how to pull than actually learning the fight. The two panther adds that follow Auriaya will pounce on the initial aggro target if they are out of melee range but within line of sight. The idea is to not have the two kitties pounce anyone, so the pull must be done while both tanks are out of LoS from her until she is within melee range. A good place for the tanks to stand at the beginning is in the small enclave with the urn to the side of the stairs.

~Jack

By request..

2009-04-25T10:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry that there wasn't a post yesterday I had a truly exhausting doctors appointment (I hate stress tests) and didn't get a chance to post.

Anyway like the title of the post says I've put the ringtone and end credits song into MP3's for you guys to download. Not sure how to make the ringtone available so you can download it straight to your phone but I figured one of you could figure that out. Below are the links:

Edit: Actually I think I got it working for phones now for the WoW Insider show anyway.

click here

WoW Insider Ringtone

You've got a Fiend in Me

~Jack

Nobody Wants to be Your Friend...

2009-04-23T15:13:00.000-07:00

The moment you've waited for is finally here. That's right "Nobody Like You Ep2" is up on youtube and ready for your viewing. We get to welcome two new members to the cast as well. Dot is another player in game while Louis is a loner who rejects society's norms... or maybe he's comic relief.

Anyway I hope you enjoy the video. It'll be up on warcraft movies whenever they sort through all the Ulduar movies and get to it. Here's the link :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIcJuLVKGzg

Also I'm addicted to Peggle. Checking into the Betty Ford clinic tomorrow.

~Jack

The Kologarnator

2009-04-22T11:58:00.000-07:00

"Hey girly player! In your girly gear, with your girly weapons and your girly friends! I am Kologarn and I am going to pump *claps* you up!"

Yes hailing from the great state of California, Kologarn is the 6th boss in Ulduar and he has the muscles to prove it. He is assumed to be a titan himself but I think he's more of the first prototype of the giants. I say this because I think Algalon is the closest thing to a true titan we've seen.

As for the fight, it's not too bad, mainly just a follow what your raid leader says kind of fight. Just watch the adds, kill the arm when it's hurting someone, and AOE adds.

~Jack

In Ulduar We Trust...

2009-04-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

The Assembly of Iron consists of Steelbreaker, Runemaster Molgeim, and Stormcaller Brundir. These three run the Iron Armies of Ulduar and Northrend.

In the Ulduar Constitution, Article I Section I gives Stormcaller Brundir only those "legislative powers herein granted" and proceeds to list those permissible actions in Article I Section 8, while Section 9 lists actions that are prohibited for him. The vesting clause in Article II places no limits on Steelbreaker, simply stating that, "Executive powers shall be vested to the biggest of the Iron Assembly of Ulduar." Runemaster Molgeim holds "The judicial Power" according to Article III, and it established the implication of Judicial review in Thorim vs Loken. The Ulduar Government refers to the three as "branches of government." Steelbreaker has attempted to usurp power from Stormcaller Brundir arguing for Separation of powers to include being the Commander in Chief of a standing army since the Civil war of the Giants, executive orders, emergency powers and security classifications since the war of the ancients, national security, signing statements, and now the concept of a unitary executive.

But enough of politics, the fight varies depending on the order that you kill the three. The standard method is Steelbreaker, then Molgeim, then Brundir. After you kill one the other two get more powers and when one is left he becomes even more powerful.

~Jack

Why Kids Need a Mother Figure...

2009-04-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

XT-002 Deconstructor is the fourth raid boss in Ulduar raid, and one of the many creations of Mimiron. He directly blocks the entrance into the lower level of Ulduar in the Scrapyard. He also seems to have the personality and mental state of a small child, considering smaller creatures to be his "toys." Judging from the amount of junk piled up in the scrapyard, he has a history of breaking his toys.

Is it just me or does anyone else want to see XT-002 and Patchwerk having a play date together?

The fight isn't too bad. The first part is a tank and spank, nothing too complicated about it. The fight does get a little tricky during the add phase. Scrapbots need to be killed before they reach the boss, Boombots need to be killed by range and the Pummelers need to be OT'd for the duration of the fight.

~Jack

Around the Bend...

2009-04-19T14:18:00.000-07:00

Ok so real life has been keeping me busy but I thought I'd give you guys a couple screenshot of what I've got done and will publish this next week. Enjoy!

Also as some of you know with 3.1 came THE BUGS! Here's a couple that you should look for, until they fix them that is.

Grobulus no longer spawns slimes for some reason, letting your OT dps during the fight.

Sartharian's Flame walls look like wave motions now and move a lot faster so be on the ball for when it happens.

~Jack

You've got a Fiend in Me...

2009-04-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who's e-mailed me or left comments, glad that I could make your day. Nobody Like You Ep 2 is coming along great, and it should be done by the end of this week. And since you guys are all such great fans (all 12 of you, Hi Mom) I've got a little teaser for you. It's not much but it'll give you an idea of what Ep 2 is going to be about.

You've got a Fiend in Me

~Jack

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...

2009-04-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

Razorsale is an iron proto-drake and the 3rd boss in Ulduar. If you've done the Sons of Hodir quest line then you've met Razorscale before and probably didn't know it. When you help Thorim get his mount back you lure the blue proto-drake Veranus to her nest. She gets captured along with Thorim during their confrontation with Loken. Veranus is in fact Razorscale! Loken changed her into the weapon you see now (like a red-neck changes the life of a sheep). Actually the best representation is Veranus is normal Spider-Man while Razorscale is black suit Spider-Man; and Ulduar has a better plot than Spider-Man 3.

The Fight is covered in depth here. She's a tough birdy to take down but she's a fun fight in my book.

~Jack

It's getting hot in here...

2009-04-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

Ignis The Furnace Master is responsible for making the weapons designed to conquer Azeroth. But did you know he also invented the radio. A little know fact is that Marconi wasn't the first design a working radio he was just the first to have a fully functional model and presented it first. He actually coppied the idea from Tesla who had come up with the idea before him. And Tesla had stolen it from Ignis while at a World's Fair. Ignis couldn't receive signals on his but he could broadcast. And now you know the rest of the story, good day.

Now for the Fight,

Strategy

The Ignis encounter begins as a simple tank and spank fight (Naxx geared tanks can take upwards of 25000-30000 damage per hit, so healers need to be on the ball). Casters, particularly healers, should take care to stop casting before Ignis uses Flame Jets, otherwise they will be locked out of their spells for 8 seconds. All players should make sure to move out of Scorch areas. Random players will periodically be charged and placed in the Slag Pot attached to Ignis' stomach. Whichever player is charged should be healed through the DoT. Nice guy isn't he?

Iron Constructs

The fight gets slightly more complicated when Ignis activates an Iron Construct. For every active Iron Construct, Ignis gains a 15% damage bonus. No more than a couple of these should be kept up at any time. Iron Constructs should be dragged through a Scorch area until they turn Molten. Alternately, if you have root or snare capability, the Construct can be kited into the Scorch and rooted until molten. Once molten, they need to be dragged immediately to one of the water pools so that they turn Brittle. Brittle Iron Constructs are stunned for 20 seconds, have a 50% increased chance to be critically hit, and will shatter if 5000 damage is done in a single hit. Shattering a Construct will remove one stack of Ignis' damage buff.

Hope this helps.

~Jack

Flame Leviathan is Flame Leviathan Crazy...

2009-04-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

Mimiron built the Flame Leviathan as part of the V0-L7R-0N weapons platform. Flame Leviathan was not always content with being a weapon and at the age of 14 left his home and headed for Hollywood. It was there that he landed a small roll in Endless Love, a drama/romance film starring Brooke Shields. Later that same year he had a more substantial role in the film Taps, appearing alongside George C. Scott, Timothy Hutton and Sean Penn.

In 1983, he was one of many teenaged stars to appear in Francis Ford Coppola's The Outsiders. Flame's breakthrough came after Risky Business was released, which helped to propel Flame to stardom. One sequence in the film, has Flame lip-syncing Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll" in his underwear, has become an iconic moment in 1980s film. In 85' he landed another defining role in Legend directed by Ridley Scott, solidifying him as a character actor.

Flame Leviathan's next major role was in Top Gun which opened in May 1986... oh wait is that Flame Leviathan of Tom Cruise? I aways get the two of them mixed up.

Anyway the Flame Leviathan is a fairly easy fight. Just make sure people know what their vehicles do and have a set kiting path before your attempt and you should be golden. Most guilds will down this boss on their first couple attempts. Wowwiki has a great strategy for the fight.

Also, found this great vid on College Humor. I think it's appropriate for the flaming that's going on in this post.

We Didn't Start the Flame War

~Jack

3.1 is HERE!!!

2009-04-14T08:40:00.000-07:00

3.1 is finally here and you know what that means... I was actually bluffing there, I have no idea what it means... or do I.

If you haven't seen the trailer yet, go watch it now. Now that we've got that settled let's get down to business. Each day I'm going to cover one of the new bosses that came in 3.1 and how they play a part in the story. Yes I am in fact nerdgasiming at the new patch.

In other news, I have a little teaser of info for the Nobody Like You Ep 2. Now I know you all loved listening to my voice in Ep 1 but for the next one I'll be having another person doing a voice over for the new character. And, wait for it, it's a she.

~Jack

Tonight on the 6 O'Clock News...

2009-04-13T13:03:00.000-07:00

First let me just say thank you to everyone who posted comments or subscribed to my vids on youtube. And to all of the people out there that flamed it; I'm a Comedian, it's how I make a living. I'm sorry but a few hecklers definitely won't bother me in the least. Now to Ollie Williams with the Battleground Report.

So Ollie, How is it in there?

BAD!

Whys that Ollie?

I GOT SHEEPED!

Don't you have a trinket for that?

HAD ONE!

What happened to it?

ON COOL DOWN! TWO MINUTES OUT!

Is there anything we can get you?

HEALS!

What kind of heals?

LIFEBLOOM!

Alright we'll get right on that...

I got all the filming done for episode 2 and I'll start editing stuff together tomorrow. See the thing I really love about this series is, unlike Lost, I actually have a plan on where I want the story to go. I'm not just making it up as I go along.

It's coming together really well and I'm hoping to have it done by the middle of next week. Real life keeps me hella busy at times and bored out of my mind at others. I like to view it as I get a mini vacation every couple days.

To anyone out there that is trying to make it in show bizz, after you've got a resume built get yourself an agent. Vicky is the best thing that has ever happened to my career. While I may not be the next Seth Rogan, I am building a career that I always have work and I'm making contacts with some very important people.

~Jack

Here Comes Peter, Hider of the Great Eggs

2009-04-12T08:53:00.000-07:00

Since it is Easter I thought that I'd talk to you about the new improved Noblegarden. I already briefly covered what you had to do in terms of getting the items you need for the achievements. So today I'll cover some of those harder achievements and the easiest way to do them.

First of all you need the Items for the holiday. Farm until you either get them all from drops or until you have enough chocolate eggs to buy them. Getting them right off the bat will make things much easier for you.

As for the achievements, these are the ones I found were the most frustrating to get.

Shake Your Bunny-Maker: Cause I mean who isn't looking forward to hunting down female dwarfs, tauren, and trolls. The main problem with this one is the 5min cool down on the Spring Flowers. Once I found my tauren shaman and "bunnified" her, I saw the only female troll I'd seen all day sit at the bank for 4 min then logged out. Then I remembered how much I hate troll rogues.

Chocoholic: This one requires that you eat 100 Chocolate Eggs. It took me a couple days to farm all the eggs needed to purchase what I needed, and then they want me to eat a hundred of my hard earned eggs. More than anything this just adds to the tediousness of the event. By the time I got this one completed I was finished with the holiday and was truly bored with it. I defiantly didn't want to do it again on a Alt.

The rest of the achievements are more time consuming than anything; "Go here" and "plant this there" kind of stuff. Yes the event is better than it had been but it's still not perfect. I really think they should have added a 5 man boss for this event. Like a giant robot bunny in Gnomeregan that dropped a robot bunny mount. Hey a person can dream can't they?

~Jack

Messing With P.E.T.A.

2009-04-11T14:31:00.001-07:00

P.E.T.A came to Azeroth,
To stop the seals being slain.
Little did P.E.T.A. know,
That their efforts would be in vain.
The Horde came to the beaches,
For their Daily Cooking mats.
The Alliance came as well,
The Alliance brought bats.
No P.E.T.A. Members spoke up that day,
Not even a whisper they would poke.
At the Thousands of Horde and Alliance,
Killing all the seals, as a joke.

That's right P.E.T.A. came to my server with the intention of protesting the seal killing in Canada. They had it set up with a couple Horde killing seals in the Howling Fjord, and Alliance would come and kill the Horde members. Their event did not go as planned.

Hundreds of Horde and Alliance were present for the event... all were there to kill seals.

When I first found out about this I thought to myself "Jack, my man. This has so much potential that you can't miss this." So I got a couple of my buddies on the server to join me in protesting the killing of Horde. P.E.T.A. you say that "Fur is Murder!" Well, I say killing people is murder. We gathered at the front lines of the Horde and protected them with a wall of meat (great feasts). And then I farmed about 5 stacks of Chilled Meat and couldn't stop laughing at the "Warranty void if Seal is broken" jokes that were being made.

P.E.T.A. never did actually speak up during the whole thing. I think they were way too upset that we were mocking them. But honestly, how could you expect for this not to happen when you have a guy in game named Nesingwary, who has asked you to kill almost a thousand animals for him. Yes P.E.T.A., WoW was indeed your best place to hold a demonstration for not killing things. Seriously, how the hell did P.E.T.A. think that this wasn't going to lead to them losing all credibility.

~Jack

The Great Sartharion DEATH Race

2009-04-10T14:33:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Place your bets!
Yes it's time for the great cannon ba-- err Sartharion Race.

Ok so this is how it works. In Obsidian Sanctum you are able to mount and in turn race! I mean let's face it, who hasn't killed Sarth yet? But have you tried running around the outside of the instance avoiding mobs while trying to make laps? I thought not.

To make the whole thing a bit more fun have everyone first agree on a bet amount, my guild does 10g, and have everyone agree to pay the winner at the end. The winner is the person that makes it the farthest, not the person left alive. That way you don't get people winning that waited for everyone else to go then followed. Honestly it's my favorite part of raiding now since we see if we can beat our best distance (my personal best is 12 laps).

In other news "Nobody Like You" has been featured on WoW Insider. Michael Gray wrote us a faltering post on the video and since then it's really sky rocketed. I've got the script done for Ep 2 and I'll start filming this weekend.

Real life is keeping me busy enough (got 3 shows coming up) but I couldn't be happier. I mean who wouldn't want to be a Comedian for a living.

~Jack

In Bed

2009-04-08T17:41:00.000-07:00

Now I'm sure everyone out there has at one time or another played the "in bed" game. But in case you haven't it's where you add "in bed" to the end of a fortune from a fortune cookie (exp. You will soon experience much success... IN BED!)

Well the "in bed" game has found its way into WoW, this time using the achievement system. Now OK I'll admit it is a bit juvenile, but it's fun to act under your age sometimes. And to be honest it is a ton of fun, especially if you've got people that don't have sticks up their asses (not judging, to each their own).

Here's a brief lit of some of my favorites:

Steady Hands in bed

A Poke in the Eye in bed

To Honor One's Elders in bed

Hope this helps brighten up the daily quest grind or the 15th time you've fully cleared Naxx.

Nobody's Here

2009-04-06T15:06:00.000-07:00

That's right the new video is up and running. I hope you all enjoy it and you tell your friends. I'll have it uploaded to warcraft movies soon (TM).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WjuAPdUxCA

Also, it's my birthday Tuesday and I'll be celebrating it by doing stand-up... Yep I'm going to be working but hey I love comedy and comedy is my job.

I've been thinking about the blog and I think I'm going to post more. Stuff like updates on what I'm doing and what I have planned. But most importantly I'm going to post on on how to have fun in WoW after you've done most everything and are getting bored with the game. And not that anyone care but I got my green proto-drake yesterday.

~Jack

Soon...

2009-04-04T16:35:00.000-07:00

Well I'm done (almost) with my next machinima and I'm going to let you know that you will laugh, and if you don't and you think it suck... well I hope we can still be friends. I won't get too deep into the plot, if there even is one, but i will tell you there's one major lore figure and one soon to be (hopefully) loved character.

Hey if it sucks it sucks, but i can honestly tell you the protagonist is like Nobody you've ever seen...

Also, this weeks How I WoW anniversary show that went for 3+ hours was damn hilarious.

Oh, and to the five of you that care, my show went great Thursday. I got a standing ovation and I was in the middle of the show. So hey, if this whole machinima thing doesn't work out, I always have stand-up to fall back on.

~Jack

And Now For Something Completely Diffrent...

2009-04-01T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well first of all, I spent 2 hours on the PTR last night getting Easter eggs and in general trying out the new Noblegarden. So far everything works fine and I haven't encountered any bugs. I won't ruin the holiday but for anyone that wants to know what to do, you just need to head to a starting town (Goldshire, Brill, ect.) and there will be a couple dudes with some quests.

The eggs are NOT located where they use to be. They can only be found in the noob towns themselves. Good news is that they respawn somewhere else as soon as one is looted. And you use the chocolate eggs that you get to purchase Noblegarden items. Bad news is that the bunny pet costs 100 eggs and the flowers cost 50 eggs, both you need for the achievements.

Everything considered most of the holiday is changed for the better and will be accessible to anyone. I don't like that I'm gonna have to hunt down a Tauren and Dwarf female (I tend to not look at them as a rule) with my pretty flowers. But hey, at least you can purchase all the items you'll need.

~Jack

Where to now?

2009-03-28T14:07:00.000-07:00

Well now that the over night sensation has happened I'm looking towards the future. I'm doing voice overs right now and I'm pretty busy with real life, but I'd like to do more machinima, I'm still a big noob at it but I've enjoyed it. I'd like to more with Turpster and WoW Insider, cause let's face it they sell. I put a link to the video at the bottom of the post.

Meh, if nothing else I'll be heading third star to the right and straight on till morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MBGMy8wG3Q

FIRST!!!

2009-03-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

So I decided to make a blog. "Why?" you may ask, well to be honest because I can. I figured this would be a nice way for me to say what I'm thinking or what I'm working on. Whether it be new stand-up jokes, new machinima, or if anyone knows how to remove genital warts.

Heh, this blogging thing is fun.

~Jack